While i was submerged in my world of OCS.. i did not noticed those who around me when i drowned...
some wondered why i drowned...
some tried to lend a helping hand, but my feet's stucked..
some tried to ask.. but water was never a good medium for sound..
some consoled
some comforted
some taunted..
some, just like me, they did not notice me...

but at least i know God was there...
He was there when i went through so much...
i really hope that He'll stay by me through it all...
hope tat i wont cause Him to grieve..
n to leave...

okidoki tat's all...

Weijian

Words of wisdom....

Friends are silver, but dad and mom are gold.

Friends can only go a certain extend for you, but alwaise remember that our parents are those who will go to the ends of the world for us. But a soldier may say that his buddy will be at the frontline with him fighting together. but trust me, as old as our dads maybe, they are willing to take up their arms and when the need arises they will be human shields as the last resort to ensure our survival, at least i know my dad will.

Now we relate it to our Father in Heaven, who gave His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ to die for us. Can you imagine how much He loves us?? Time for us all to do a reflection...

Today I've been promoted to Ministry Member and I must say, it's a very good feeling. Also i know with this promotion comes greater responsibility. Yupz... believe greater responsibilities will come, greater too will the rewards.

Friends asked why i didnt share with some of them prior to the promotion. Maybe i too should be asking myself why... hmm...
Been dealing with several interpersonal issues... yupz... it will be settled... i dunno when.. but i hope soon. yupyup...

to a certain group of friends,
I love you guys a lot. From the bottom of my heart. i can only hope for the days of our youths. Let's make it happen.

Your friend always.
Weijian

the day's good... coz i'm not in camp.. hmm.. but i want to be purpose driven.. to know that i'm in camp for a reason.. to defend the nation n glorify God.

The week opened my eyes to many things.. things nice n not so nice... i saw the state of the hearts of men.. some made me frown upon.. some greatly encouraged me..
i also saw the sight of myself from other people's point of view. it's really nice... yeahz..

booking in time is closing in.. but i'm a much happier soldier now.. cause i know that many care... n these cares help block out the frown from weighing me down..

i'm craving for chocolate... chocolate anyone?

Soldiering on... with eyes open.

Weijian

As i walk thru the valley of death, i'll fear no evil...

A verse to ponder.. seems like a valley that i'm going thru right now... a kind of depression pressing against my mind.. so much so it hurts... so hard so it sucks my breath to a wheeze... it's yucky.. am i alone? Hmm... i hope not...

Take my hand when i can't see what's ahead.. when i my fear overwhelms me... when i shall cry n yet none hears...

i credit my thoughts to the booking in blues... it sucks... literally.. all my energy and zest.

i'm a soldier...

WeiJian

finally i'm back.
It's been a long long while since i last made an entry..... wonder why? lemme tell u.. coz i forgot the username... hahaz.. yupyup.. oh well.. age has been catching up yeah? :P

I've had my section field camp... been thru quite a few trainings... yeahz.. still surviving... it has not been easy.. but still i made it...

I feel that cadets are hardened folks... shutting off from the humane side of themselves to endure the physical and mental training... they carry a "i can't care less" attitude... and the people around them gets affected... a paradox of some sort as why we are suffering is for these very dear ones...

i wonder how's the rest of my friends doing in ns... going thru training in various areas.. specializing in various fields.. do they trudge along with the same burden? relating to some of them makes me realize that they too are going thru hardship of other forms...

I've got a fren.. named Weihao. A great fren of mine... caught up in his training n stuffs.. got to meet up with him just now.. really enjoyed his company... but somehow or rather i felt a riff grew between us... somehow got a little distant... chatted up n i realized that he was carrying a load on his mind... a rather small matter thou... but then n there i wished i could help... b4 i knew it.. he bid me farewell n headed the other way... shucks...

i miss my guitar a lot... i wish i can strum it tonight... using music to express my thoughts n emotions... like a musical arm extended, writing in the air a story that words cant describe...

I wish that i've a heart the beats with God's
A mind that sees His thoughts
I hope to see the mountains crumble in the sea
so that the horizon can be free
I mulled when i'm not
I sulked when i'm mocked
and when i wondered where my heart's been
I hope it's running freely, openly seen

weijian 220204

Hmm... booking in in a matter of hour... preparing for my field camp.... feeling really sian.. really.... just want to keep things simple.. to burden my mind a little less.. God.. help me....

i wish for the green green meadows
where the breeze blew and tickled
i wish for the bright bright rainbow
where the birds perched and whistled

i wish for the life i once had
i wish for the days never sad
i wish for the day when i'll run far far away...

weijian

Heyhey...

Today's, or rather yesterdae was the first dae of the lunar new year! it was great n i spent it visiting my relatives right till thru dinner.. but the night outing somehow got outta hand.. it was meant to b a small gathering.. but in the end it became like a get together session for another group of folks.. boy do i sure felt weird... glad that in the end we all didnt watch the movie.. hahaz.. anyway zac looked sweet... tink it muz haven been the lighting or makeup or clothes.. :P n kun was so nice to send me back.. then we had one of our dreams fulfilled... to sit around in bfd! nice outdoor pub manz! live band n all.. hahahz... great place... finally achieved my aim of fellowshipping with a small group... :)

HAo bahz.. that's about it...

cheerio n God Bless
weijian

So glad to be able survive my first week of ST1. Yucky.. dready... n yet i gone thru it~ While i was in camp, i tot of my mom.. kinda got teary.. n that's when i realize that i missed her dearly... missed my family.. missed my grandparents, frens and all who r close to my heart.

earlier i heard that an old fren of mine went for alumni practice. Kinda got me wondering.. stunned.. had wanted to go.. but wad would i say or do if i bump into her? it's been a long long while since that "hi" bridged us...

I've got a solid bunch of guys in my platoon n i'm really glad to be able to share the training together with them. They motivate me a lot. yupyup.. great guys.. wad others said about wayang guys in ocs is an impression of the pessimist... break out of that mindset n you will get to experience wad it means to excel together. :)

Serve with pride and honour~

Bobbly bob

Relak relak... hahaz.. something i really want... finally.. end of my TST.. wohoo.. got to book out on friday.. cool~

was tortured beyond words
only tears expressed my grieve then
yet none other would sympathize
coz they too were sorrowed

suffered a lot... but glad it's over... it came with a price.. n the price gave me pride.. n gave God the glory :)

Thought 2:
I was peering outta my window when i saw people. All lost in their little world.. where circumstances surrounds them.. their own problems, their own issues...

sleepy.. i'll continue it again :P

Cheers
bob

Wow.. it's my first official book out for my 3 weeks confinment in ocs! hahaz.. but thank God i was able to book out not juz once but twice during tat 3 weeks.. coz of public holidaes.

Thought 1:
REsolved the issue with my fren n everything is back to normal :)

Thought 2:
I was reading through the testimonials my frens wrote for me. Some are short, some long, some a little funny, some very touching... but basically it made me realized how I've impacted others with my actions. Am really glad to b able to make such a positive impact on the lives of these dearies, n i really hope to be able to make such positive impacts on the rest of my frens.

Thought 3:
Really wanna thank God for being there for me during this period in ocs. Training in here is rather tough, regimented and not exactly all that fun. i did my night compass walk and i kinda went off course. for 3 attempts i failed n i was tempted to cheat my way out. But i told myself to trust in Him n i really thank God that there was no retest for the night session. THen there were other incidents when my bunk key spoilt, my computer mouse spoilt, my torch went missing, etc etc. But God still saw me through and i know that he will see me thru it all. :)

Thought 4:
Recalled i emailed my ex a few weeks ago. Never got a reply, don't know how she feels towards me. Please do not be mistaken, I am not looking for a patch, rather for a lost frenship. She was a great pal b4 we got attached. We went thru some tumbling n crumbling times n never really spoke eversince we broke up. Makes me wonder y doesnt she want to talk to me after so long? was it coz i was a horrendous bf? most prob... hmm. a learning point in life.

it says 3.44am on my com. I'm supposed to be watching the rolling credits of LOTR but somehow or rather i'm sitting in front of my com typing this blog.

Christmas night... planned to watch a movie with a dear fren of mine. She agreed, so it's like everything was in place until a call came in... sounded like she was having an argument with another of our fren.. had my reasons for wanting to give up my place to the other fren... coz at that point i fig it was the most ideal solution. i wanted to make everyone happie... gave a lame excuse.. which kinda didnt go down well wif her.. n when we met up with another bunch of frens they got a situation at hand and realized that my presence is needed at another place.. i chose to go.. i weight the odds, i calculated the risk, i know what i want for my frens. i want them safe. even when the journey there bit into my leg.. i held on.. coz i know i they r worth much more to me.. n i know and have been reassured that they do cherish me as much if not more. i promised to come back.. but it's furtile... i knew she cried.. but i was not there... wanted to be there for her... but she didnt want me to return... buddy.. wad buddy? guess the only buddy systems only works in camp... i'm just a flop in this issue. a complete one...

Sigh.. my Christmas seems spoilt... oh what a way to commemorate this day. Christ died to set us all free.. n yet i'm trapped in my own grieve.. Lord, pray Thee carry me thru... more than that... i pray for my friend's happiness...

Therefore i shall return the helm, chestplate, sword of courage... Just me and my steed, and we shall cross the planes... leaving my hurts behind.. Wat's left behind is a place replacable at the command of the king.

Damn.. hope we can talk... but then again.. how to?

Sigh... wad a way...

farewell my princess... afraid i wont be around for long... :|

God Bless
Weijian

Back... but from where?

where i deemed fit for my existance. I don't grace it, i just part take of wad's there to offer and in return i gave of myself.

Thought 1:
I was at cell group meeting recently.. then i felt God spoke to me. A Word in season. It was just the night before my posting result came out. God told me that He will not place me any-o-how, but in a place that will Glorify His name. I'm there to be a testimony and not a stumbling block, to the Christians n non-believers.
Felt really encouraged by it. thank God :)

Thought 2:
People around are like getting attached and getting all lovey dovey... expressing their affections in words n deeds. Then i did a reflection of myself.. y am i not i this fairytale state.. then it just struck me.. i'm not ready... i'm still at the friends stage.. friends with a lot of people.. people of the opposite gender as well. i'm still in the place of preparation for what is to come. I'm occupied with other passions n responsibilites that such relationships have to take a backseat. I enjoy the companionship of my friends. And i'm glad to be able to just bump into an old friend along the streets and have a hearty meal together in town.. yes.. friends aplenty.. but does it spells good fortune? there's alwaise a flip-side to a coin.. i've got close friends who feel that they are not important in my life.. because i'm alwaise with so many people.. yet i just want them to know how dear they r to me... aquaintances add firewood to a flame, but true friends rekindles the lost spark. when i'm down it's only those whom i'm close to will be there... they may not be all that cool, hip, trendy, flamboyant... but they are there to correct and reassure... there as pillars that i can really count on.. i count these few gems more precious than the stones on the shores. All you precious please know i cherish you guys a lot.

Thought 3:
Still remember the period of time before i enlisted... a few of my friends told me to excel in bmt. in response i told them to be proud of me no matter what becomes of me. Still remembering how badly i started with so many setbacks here n there, losing things, making mistakes wif official documentations. How i knelt on the corridor.. scrubbing wat seems impossible to remove kiwi stains on the tiles... how my buddy and i embraced different opinions and believes, argued n disagreed, and buddy system became a 1 man show.. Yes, that was how i begun.. and there was where God picked me up... I got excused from punishments for the mistakes.. my platoon makes an effort not to dirty the tiles..my corridor guys took initiative to clean... n a nice guy, Ronnie just help me with the plants... my buddy, another friend and 1 were seating together at 1 corner of the room.. chatting.. suppering and just appreciating the moment.. How my buddy told me that he is so proud of me; his buddy for getting platoon best... yes, so was i... happy that he shares my joy. God has really brought me thus far.. even to OCS...
Now that I've been posted to OCS, i'll still say the same thing to my friends, be proud of me, no matter what.. not because of what i acheived, rather because of who i am.

Lotsa Agape
Bobbly bob

PS: Stones under high heat and pressure also become gems. Never despise friendships of aquaintances, coz with trials n testing great friends do happen.. Cheers

Today i received the shocker of the moment... i've been posted to OCS... which means Officer Cadet School... so many things to do so suddenly... stunned... i'll be right back.. :P

Sigh.

I dont know how else to begin.

How many times do i need to let others down before i realize the unpleasant incurrance unto others?

What words may stumble in unconciousness
that comes trampling upon the hearts I love
I've got only this mortal self to blame
of one's hands wounded and stained

So please let me hide in my corner
that no man should see my tear
while the storm settles down
my scarred fingers will i count

I've wasted 1 whole dae sleeping as a result of my food poisoning. in the process people were let down.

Wonder would people accept my explanation for my disappearance?

Dear folks dun be too nice to me, i may not be able to recipocrate the kindness.

Somehow I really wish i can...

Oh well. gotta try harder.

Try not to read into wad i've written so far. yeah?

Bob

Yeah~ I'm back once again to fill up this blog...

Thought 1:

What does it mean to be the platoon best? It means God is doing something great in my life. Opened up doors of opportunities for me. Been a few interviews and did pretty well for them. Completed my 2.4 in 9.55. First time a sub-10 for me and it sure do feel good. My only regret for my test is that I failed to get a Gold by a mere 11 secs. Oh well. Just a bit more... juz a bit... :P

Thought 2:
I've got a friend who will be leaving for Taiwan soon. That's where she came frm n is here on a student visa. Yupz her course will be ending in about a month's time and i do not know when i'll c her again after her return. Kinda saddening and can't seem to fathom the sorrow i may feel when she boards the plane. Time is ticking away... slowly but surely...

Kz.. tink i'm gonna knock out anytime soon. tat's all folks.

Cheers n God Bless
Bobbly Bob

Thought 1:
To write good music, is perhaps one of my greatest desire. Would like to write something that I can relate to and also encourage others thru it.

Thought 2
Some things i've learnt over the past weeks. Good and bad days both have equal duration, 24 hours each, no longer no shorter, it's only how we take it. So I'll not whine when the torments seems eternity n the blessings short-lived.
The other is not to indulge in self-pity. It's pointless to dwell on what you've short-changed yourself previous n make the future a drag. No one will share your sentiment, rather they would want you to pick urself up and continue the training with the right mindset. yupyup

Thought 3:
Training has been great, pace is comfy and i kinda look forward to booking in. But I know what lies after bmt will be a cultural shock for the delta soldiers. no more confort zone, rather we have to learn to embrace regimentation that tags along with the change of our vocational training.

Thought 4
Just watched the matrix revolution with 2 adorable frens of mine. Ben n Zarah. it was really cool, the effects n storyline.. wow... it's something that requires our brain to do a functionality check. Story got me spellbound. A word of caution. Only watch it when u feel intrigued by the matrix. Else it's gonna bore u big time.

Okidoki, that's about it.. Do take care all u lovable folks

God Bless
Bobbly Bob

THOUGHT 1:
Yupz. my long weekend is drawing to a close. It has been superbly long. From Wed nite all the way till Mon morning. So much so that it got me all accustomed to lifestyle of a civilian that I'm afraid i may have difficulty adapting back to military regimentation. Oh well, a weekend of confinement follows, coz of field camp. Soldiering on. :)

THOUGHT 2:
Been pretty fascinated by the recent discovery of an online community tool, friendster.com. Basically it provides an avenue for friends to keep in touch, to establish the why and how are friends related, to find out more about the friends of our friends. A lot of people has been adding me eversince i stumbled upon then it dawned upon me that it has been in operation for quite a while and i have juz been thawed outta the ice age. Wow.....

Then there was this curiosity to find out how has my ex been. Basically we have not been in contact eversince the breakup but still we n several others were in the same circle of friends, so i checked out the contacts of this friend of ours. Lo and behold, there she was. The descriptions, the testimonials.... Slowly i uncovered more about her. bit by bit, word by word. This person i once loved has been loved by so many others. I've become juz 1 of those blades in the wide wide field. It's a weird feeling to behold at the mo, feels like i'm rummaging thru her trash bins, eavesdropping at town squares for news of her. It's not a patch back i seek, but a chance to know that i'm forgiven and we can still remain friends. Glad to know that she's doing fine, but i also want to know that she's fine with bumping into me down the streets, say a hi and leave a smile for me to remember till dusk.

I am believing God for a breakthru, I am entrusting my life into His hands. I want to do His Will and be His obedient child. And i know that all the days of my life are planned by God. To trust in Him alwaise.

THOUGHT 3:
I juz received a super long letter from Zarah todae. Words of encouragement and affirmation covers it all. It is very sweet of her to write such a long and meaningful letter to me. Took her more than an hour to complete it. Yupyup, *touched* :)
Gives me the additional thrust for the next few taxing dayS to come. Come rain or high water, i've got God and a friend who will stand by me thru it. :)

THOUGHT 4:
I'm with Delta Coy in NS. It is 1 of the most welfare coy around. But i can't stand it when people imagine all delta coy recruits to be weak and pampered. Yes, I do have a good life and I thank God for it, but I will not be complacent and take this benefit for granted. I'm gonna train hard like a soldier and get my gold for IPPT. So no 1 will belittle the Delta warriors. To serve with Pride and Honour.

Anyway God bless all ya wonderful folks

Agape
Bobbly Bob

Wow... i've been confined for 18 days in the wonderful isle of tekong and now i'm finally back to civilization. Yupyup... been spending my time now more fruitfully... making every moment of it counts... spending time with my family and friends.. yeahz...
Juz celebrated Zac's bdae.. yupz.. the founder of Zoob club and a close friend of mine. Loads of people were there to grace the occasion. It was a time of catching up and relaxing. anyway, Zac if ya reading this, here's a HaPPiE BirTHDaY to you!
In another 20 hours i'll be back training and experience what it means to be a soldier. Yupz... but no worry.. i'll be back home on Wed nite~! yeah! Deepavali is a public hols!
okidoki~ that's all. Yupz...

Stay tuned~

love Bobbly Bob

Yesterdae(27/9) i juz had a great meal wif a few of my frens, faith, zarah and ben, basically the Zoob club..gone to a seafood buffet restuarant.. not bad foodies... though not a lot of varieties....yupyup.. had a great time with them as well... chit-chattings, did-doodlings and a whole lot of fun activities that can b done while eating...
went ard city hall area n finally settled at starbucks for a drink n i bumped into Anneson shuilian n gang~! hahahz.. k.. my SA alumni frens... nice pple... yupyup.. okidoki.. gotta go get my webbie up b4 my enlistment... yupyup.. will pump in more text in the daes to come... yupyup... cya all soon :)

Love Bobbly Bob

Wow... my first blog...