shit.. i'm still talking army

okok. i'm some kinda freak who spent only 2 yrs 2 mths in army, and spends the same amount of time after ord talking about it.

But then again, who don't? hah! Even if ya cursing that same csm or pc, it's still army fodder! Welcome to the freak show. :)

Anyway recently i just met a client who wants to do a website. Sounds simple yeah? Well, pretty much. Until i realised he just retired from the service. About 2 months ago to be exact. Now what so cool about that? Well, he's a lta colonel. Remember all those people that we use to fear and shun coz of their almost unlimited multi-cast of weekend guard duties and confinement. Yes, this is one who has the power to grant those fabulous weekend getaways with free lodging and meals.

Of coz men of such calibre cant possibly retire at only 47 rite? Wat kinda justice is he doing to all that he has gained in those years? He has received the golden handshake and has taken his bounty to bite/smash the entrepreneur bug. haha. :P

So there and then, we met up, had a nice long discussion. 1/3 business, 2/3 armyish feel-good-coz-i'm-an-officer talk. Most interesting and inspiring to say the least.

Sometimes while we are all down there slogging our *ss off for people high up whom we knew to be Nato's spokesperson and kiwi's alternative. This is one senior officer who did not mind his ranks to pull weeds with his men, covered up when other potential political candidates play punk, and had men giving their all for someone they believe in. Yesh, this is one such man. Someone I did not have the chance to work with. Not to say my past commanders were lousy, they had their own style of inspiring and motivating, but this man leads with a heart that mine echos after.

I didnt sign on for 2 main reasons, one is for the pursue of my creative career. The other is coz of all the political monkeys there that suffer from some bi-polar Jekyll and Hyde syndrome. Being in hq opened my eyes, i saw this culture that i never believed in. Standing my ground was shit, but at least i had some men who gave me hope and strength to perservere on.

Thanks guys. :)

Anyway, the talk really enlightened me a great deal about leadership and people relationship. No, i'm not the best. But at least i'm better than i was yesterday.

Ok, enuff of this gibberish.

So basically, i'm working for him. 2 crabs and 2 bars hand in hand. haha.

Permission to carry on, Sir!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i'm so in love with events photography!

hehe... :)

yeah. that's all.



love
bob

"Registration is now closed"

Drats!

Those words are never meant to be! Was just thinking about how many km should i run this year, and who should i call to meet in the morning for a prep session, talk cock and catch up, and an endless list of dunno what else i had fantasized about.

Well, it's all a *poof now. According to our beloved singaporemarathon.com webbie of coz.. Argh! Such a shame. i even blogged about my first ever stand chart run.

so to my many beloveds who are running this year. i'm so so grieved that i cant join you in this landmark event. Be brave, go! Run the distance while i laze on my bed, hugging my green teddy bear and envy all you sweating, even swearing as you try to beat the clock with every aching step, and on the following morning you'll probably have the most gruelling bowel movement as your thigh and calf muscles scream in pain coz you didnt do a proper warm down the day before.

:P

i love all of you still. :)

-----------------------------------------------

Anyway these few weeks have been pretty good! getting design projects from here and there. Yeah man, Thank God! Now is the time for me to really cranking on these projects before they pile up and put to shame my name in the freelance arena.

A lot of stuffs are in the pipeline for my design works, will prolly share more when the time is ripe. Meanwhile, stay tuned!


-----------------------------------------------

Guitaring is a passion, and a talent(or so i believe) that I use to bless my cell group. Though i may not be the most skillful one, knowing a whole range of chords, but at least I am still able to contribute to the building of the atmosphere and support Titus and flowing along with him.

So moral of the story, you may only know G Em C D, but be the best G Em C D ard. You'll never know how many lives are blessed by your simple chord structure during times like praise n worship. And of course, keep on practising and learn the other scales n stuffs too.

Off track a bit..

Titus is a good man. He's everything a girl will want in a guy, and he's one of the few single, really awesome guys who will make great husband materials. This is not a lelong, it's an auction. May the best girl wins his heart! :)

Alritey, be good everyone. gotta go back to work!

Cheers
Bob

moving on

i was watching "an Officer and a Gentlemen" by Richard Gere, filmed some good 20 yrs ago. It's quite an engaging movie. Watched how the gunnery sergeant taunted, mocked and labelled these new officer cadets. Training was really tough, but these pilot hopefuls banded together and pressed on till the end, with most of them completing their training. Guess what? They still have a survival training at the end to boot.



Upon completion, the very man who brought hell to them, gave them their first salute upon commissioning. Touching.



I could almost see the bunks, the punishments, the shoutings, the survival training n the wave of verbal torment in my life. Yes, we went through all these, and like them we banded together and pulled through. We even had the first salute from our ssm. how touching. We almost miss being called a swine who suffers from pyschosis by him. In fact, i do. haha.



Anyway, back to the movie. The story line is really simple, plot's minimal, powerful values to take away almost none. But nevertheless..



Good movie. For all who wants a feel good, old sckool hot rod in nicely pressed uniform, cadets movie.



------------------------------------------------------------



I had a very fruitful cellgroup. Strangely, what first started out as making contacts with alien lifeforms eventually resulted in a very, very loving group.



Praise and worship was really good. Now my cgl has implemented a 2 guitarist system, and it's really good. It eases the burden of 1 having to take both praise and worship, now it's 1 for praise, and 1 for worship, and the off duty one will support the other through playing simple plucking, rhythm or even some kind of rifts. Titus is the pro for yesterday's session, so i basically supported him when it was worship time and it almost felt like we have reached another level. Annointing was strong, people were moved. The response was most gratifying. Even Titus and Tiffany confirmed that notion.



Then we have shuling's mom who has been such a blessing to the group. We had an awesome meal of katong-styled laksa. Really delicious and to top it off, most of us stayed back to fellowship together till late. So happy to see everyone is actively engaged in conversation with one another with no one left out alone. REally really satisfying.



I still love w250 a lot. Coz of the time we've spent together all those years. but at least i can say i have moved on, grew a lot under tiffany's guidance, titus's guitaring mentorship and the friendship from the rest. And I believe everyone is doing great, wherever you are, in the different groups. Make the best of it, and hopefully we'll have our w250 reunion cycling trip soon.

acceptance

i wish,

life can be simpler..
i dont need parables to tell my stories
i dont need to smile when i'm crying
i dont have to do what others say
i have no expectations to live up to

i wish to be me.

I'm fighting a war, a one man battle, rambo style. i don't mark my trail, i dont conceal my tracks. but with an automatic rifle in one hand, and a twin-barrel shotgun in the other, i dash for the outposts, raid the trenches, bomb the bunkers, to break down the series of obstacles that stands my way. Burn the bridges, sink the ships, i'm not going home. Yes, that's just about how i fight for my rights, my life.

i'm less than perfect, not an angel with hidden wings and misplaced halo.
i'm, but human.

accept me please.

i'm running in the rain~

Just compelled myself to jog just now. Yeah, for the sake of my hidden and almost forgotten abs.

Haven really jogged in a long while coz of work n other commitments, then i just realised, stand chart is coming and my figure is leaving, so i have better get my act together. So when i finally dragged myself out of my house, the cool breeze and moist air welcome me with open arms. Didnt really give it much tot though, just wanted to get my butt off the computer chairs. Therefore, i jogged.

When i was jogging halfway, the weather took a turn for the worst. Rain drops started pelting down my face and the breeze turned chilly gusts. Was contemplating seeking shelter, but then i was telling myself, there's no cat 1 in war. Also I have always wanted to run in the rain. Like some childhood dream. So i compiled couple more silly reasons like officer tis n that, i successfully psycho-ed myself to complete my run in the rain. Oh what pride..

Somehow, as I jogged, i was sub-consciously praying, asking God to hold back the rain. Like dont overwhelm me until it's all a blur and soaked. N so it was, the heavier rain did not come until i hit my block. Wow wow. thank God :)

Yes, i have jogged and completed my usual route in under half an hour. yeah! :)


bob

Sane again

Finally after such a long time, i'm having time for myself again. :)



The pda has been one of the world's greatest creation. I have found myself to be increasingly dependent on it. Somehow my life is constantly revolving around this little gadget. I have recently zhng-ed it with the addition of a 4-in-1 stylus pen (n pencil, n highlighter n ballpoint). Also i did some house cleaning on it, and made room for name cards! coolness :)



Then again, this invention has brought about a certain drawback. Coz now my schedule is more transparent and organised (sounds not bob), it has been easier to schedule appointments and stuffs. So much so that my time is no longer mine, but leased out to everyone who wants a slice of my life. (By typing this blog, i've given blogger.com a substantial portion of my free time. yikes~! ) Gone are the days when i can brush off bookings by mumbling some random appointment with martians in an exotic location. Coz everything is clearly listed out in my pda~! Maybe i should schedule an appointment with myself... hmm...



According to my pda, i'm booked from this evening, thru to next wed. Thurs is the only free time i have before i'm taken up again for that coming weekend.



----------------------------------------------------------------------



just suddenly feel like adding more to my blog.

A bit on what i've been getting myself into..

currently i'm into lots of xhtml n css, not really tat pro in it yet, but been practising on my coy website n been reading up a lot. Lemme recommend tis book by Head First. It is really brain-friendly. Covered over 300 pages in 2 weeks. mayb coz the words r nicely spaced. :) Then for graphic matters i'm doing a lot of photo manipulation n touch ups, and finally for my photography i have done a few informal photo shoot with my girlfriend and also have covered one of my best friend's ROM. Mr n Mrs Tay Kunming! Woo~! My first married close friends. I wonder who's next in line. hehe. Also been reading up wedding photography sites to get a feel from those pros. Actually i've been writing a song, but felt it's too emo to continue. Really nice n rocker feel.. maybe i shd change the lyrics before i present it to the band.

This is my career forecast:
web designer - senior web designer - interactive/multimedia director - creative director!

Man, i love to dream! :)

interesting

Edwin just sent me a most ultimate mtv of the season. a extremely cheesy cowboyish milkman sing-a-long, insanely sung by the one who never bother to articulate his words and regurgitate everything in a constant slur, mr jay. Most mis-matched. But still i was highly fascinated by it as I was in complete denial tat the singer who drifted on mt akina also does part time milk delivery.

Ah hah! the origin of soy bean milk, when takumi crashes while doing his rounds

Anyway... although i've 2 posts of parables, i actually have the actual copy stored as drafts. Really, reading them is kinda therapuetic, keeps me in check of my mental state n emotional quo. Also one thing about blogs is tat, it expresses the mood of that moment. But it does not accurately reflect the writers mood, at the time when the reader interprets it. Coz the readers may read it an hour later, a day later, or even a month later. which would have been invalid for a long time by then. So, in view of mankind's lack of ability to execute rational judgement, i refuse to display those words as they may be the source of unnessary conflict.

So erm, some updates on my life n activities of late. last sunday I attended church, after tat i rushed off to do wedding photography. was really fun. Took some rather nice shots. hopefully i can send them over to my freind soon. After editing of coz. :P

ok, my brain is knocking out already. i'll prolly type again tomorrow.

Take care
Love Bob

unspoken words

haha... viewers' discretion is advised. my words are not meant for the average reader.

Looks like we're at another episode of "Unspoken Words"

bob

Words unspoken

I have spent abt an hour typing my blog, but eventually I decided to trash it and not show. Because society is a delicate balance. A balancing act played by all around. We are all actors in our own rights. I have my role and my script, so let me play my part.

Encore.

bob

wondering.. death. And some others. :P

Have you ever wonder what you would do if you realised you have only a few days left to live? Before you start listing out the politically correct, holistic and socially responsible answers, pause for a moment to digest this question and reflect it in a realistic manner. I know it's pretty hard, unless you are experiencing it yourself.

Now what if it all did happened? But in a dream?

I had the weirdest dream recently. Senario is as per stated above. I dreamt that I only had a few days left to live and I was pretty amazed by the actions that followed.

Firstly i turned to God, I prayed and asked God to extend my life span. It kinda had no effect in the physical realm, but I just wanted to pray and share this tremendous mental load with an omnipotent being.

Then I went to a local game arcade centre to befriend the ah bengs and ah lians there. Bought chocolate for them to share.

After that I found a retired warant officer and offered him friendship and words of encouragement. Those glittering medals across his jacket, evident that he has made conscious effort to polish this objects of past fame and glory immortalized.

But despite all that I've done, my days remained numbered. Was terribly burdened, then i heard a familiar noise in the background.



My alarm clock.


What relief~~~ :)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yesterday was great. Cause I finally did something that I have wanted to do all my life. To run in the AHM, voluntarily. Perhaps I should list out some of the more memorable events.

I used the public mobile toilet. You see, my human waste, sometimes like to "chu" pattern. No, not those batik kind, it's churning at the worst moments possible, like, just before a major run like that. And so i humbly cramp myself into a tiny, dark and generously watered with pee cubicle. To crap of course. As for the details of the bowel motion sequence, you can leave ur hp number and i'll fill you in. :)

Then there was this little boy, about 6 yrs old, running along side with me. No, he wasnt panting like i did. Yes was I stunned, and shamed. Freaking kid prolly loaded with a ton of steroid or something.

Then there was this girl looking pretty in makeup and pink spaggetti strapped top. Sometimes we gotta admit that such people are excellent motivational factors. When ya behind, you will want to catch up to see how she looks, when you have caught up, you will pretend to wipe those perspiration on your forehead and look at her from under your arm pit. When contented, you will "gek" the "say" and act cool and oblivious to her presence, but secretly hoping that she will give you those lingering gaze as you jog way ahead, apparently effortlessly.

Then there was those familiar faces, lta tilak and mwo raymond. i wanted to say hi, but restraint as they were engaged in those armyish talks with other enciks.

Then there was those ocs cadets. I must admit, they are a loud bunch. Very attention grabbing. Was wondering, why must you guys be so loud and obnoxious and attention seeking? The tone, the communication style, the confidence and perhaps arrogance, exploded out with every bodily gesture and spoken word. Was pondering for quite a while, then i realised, it was because of their charisma, confidence, good people skills, etc etc that got them into ocs. these people are those who desire to be leaders of men and have shown those traits. Yes, they were loud, because they are not ashame and take pride in what they do. When a platoon of cadets caught up with me, their cheers and echoes stirred me and got me running alongside with these. Oh yes, my former days. I'm proud of them, coz that's where I came from. OCS.

Then there was the screaming cheerleaders. If i were still in sec sch or poly i would think they are the hottest gals ard, but sadly age has caught up and my taste changed. Sorry, i dont go for xiao mei meis. But they sure did perk up the jog for those compelled joggers.

Then there were 2 bands along the way. One of them has a female bassist. Coolness.

Then i crossed the finishing line. In 1hr 20min. Well done bob. You have got yourself a pair of aching legs. Ouch. :P

Stand Chart here i come!


running away
Bob

Foolish games

Like a fool, like a fool
I chased the wind like a fool
I held it in my hands; kissed it's forehead too
even though it was slipping through

like a fool, like a fool
I fought the shadows like a fool
I punched it in the plasters; in the concrete too
every single blow hurts like two

like a fool, like a fool
I watched the time passed, like a fool
it was ever so nonchalant, and haughty too
for i'm not worthy of sight, just like a tool

like a fool, like a fool
will anyone love someone like a fool
I am not a stone, nor a monkey in the zoo
But a man, that's madly after you

Like a fool, like a fool
I'm a fool for you
I hope that somehow it's true
that you're a fool for me too


bob

bob's back

amazing. i've survived more than a month without blogging. i wonder if anyone still drops by here for updates.

in any case, the blog has to live on, my sanctuary, my place to holler and vent. So let these fingers translate thoughts into text, revealing a little more than just revelations of my daily acts.

read on, with a pinch of salt please.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Was pondering what caused the ceasation of my virtual diary. then it dawned upon me that it was inevitably exposed by my classmates. i wondered what was the draw to reading someone's blog? was it an opportunity to unearth unspoken words, mix it in a jar of vinegar, then feed it to those who previously were aliens to my words, that eventually became embroiled in your little mash of gossipy fodder.

oh well, it's over.

the disappointments i meant. let's move on dear friends. :)

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Then there was the unnerving but enjoyable graduation process. spent several hours in front of the computer working my ass off just to get my portfolio up and running. Then after that there was the online portfolio which i compelled myself to create for the benefit of my job hunting experience. (oh yeah, it paid off, pretty well too. considering my starting pay is higher than some of my peers, and it has a great working environment as well as potential for growth. )

hopefully my time here will be well spent and that my dream of being the senior web designer by next year can be achieved. will update here when the website is up. Yes, they dont even have a website. it'll b painstaking created from scratch.

i see mountain for me to overcome, i meant mountain range.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

i drove up msia again despite several protests from some of my friends, citing high crime rates n certain issues about their traffic marshals. But i still went ahead nevertheless. It was more of a pligrimage for me, some kind of a ritual that the driver within wants to perform. also, it's an opportunity for me to meet up my relatives in ipoh. It was most meaningful and memorable.

here's an extract of my msia blog which i wrote on my pda.

"Msia travel blog 15072007 0008hr

today my parents n i drove up to msia with a few things on our agenda. To visit my uncle n his family in Ipoh, pay respect to my dad's late colleague, drive up for sightseeing in penang n of course for a family get together.

Today we have met my uncle n his family. It is nice to see these familiar faces again. Truely pple age, but still their significance in my life still stand firmly. We had the famous bean sprout chicken with hor fan for dinner, n after tat my uncle took me out for a spin ard ipoh.
it was then when it all came back.

We were visiting quite a few places ard ipoh until we returned to the old house they used to stay. oh what nostelgia. The feeling of anxiety overwhelmed my mind as i waited in anticipation of the place where so many memories had its roots in. We drove thru a myraid of road networks to reach the house, n with every turn, waves of memories struck me with recollection of the many events and situation that shaped my childhood. I remember the front porch with a steel swing. The many plants that lined the fence, the rustic interiors, the curtain that covered the room entrances, the murky laundry area, the wooden netted cabinet tat kept the porcelain wares, the white dotted mongrel my great grandma kept, the white n brown cat from the neighbourhd tat comes by everyday at the back, the joy rides with my younger uncle on his scooter, n of course, my jovial great grandma.

Sadly it's was all in e past.

Now, the house's abandoned, the swing stands in isolation in the empty porch. The dog was given away, the cat never came back, my younger uncle disappeared without a trace n my great grandma has passed away.

Oh how my heart cringed when the house came into view. All that i saw in my memory crushed by the stark reality of what that stood before me. A building striped of everything i treasure. A dream lost, no less. Sadly, that's life. I lost much so that i can build new ones with e future generations.

At least tat's how i console myself"

-----------------------------------------------------------------

i went for my first reservist. so happy to see so many familiar faces. My ocs instructor was there, my fellow cohort mates were a plenty, my upper study and upperx2 study was there too. not to forget the abandance of tekong officers. hahaha.. was like some kind of gathering when everyone is like reminising the good ole days. so much to talk, so much to bring to remembrance. looking forward to my in camp with these wonderful folks.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

okidoki tat's all for now. i've got a backlog of photos in my com tat has yet to reach the lovely subjects within. hahahah. my bad. wait up all you wonderful people. i'll get them to you soon :)

Cheers
Bob

the sun through my eye

it's sunny again.
a smile crept upon my face
away with the thundering clouds and howling wind
raindrops bittersweet to taste

it's sunny again
but where have the others gone
why wouldnt anyone join me in one accord
and sing away my sorrowed song

it's sunny again
although i'm drenched inside out
i chose not to complain, whine nor sigh
but smile with a hidden pout

it's sunny again
but it will not be for long
the sane has fled and frightened left
Coz it's the eye of the storm

weijian
190607

Collapsing By

Dear Blog,

I've never meant to leave you. BUT have been extremely bogged down by so many stuffs n thoughts. So i figured i'd slap it all here to excuse myself from all blogging liabilities until further notice.

1) Reworking my past projects for grad show
2) Portfolio designing
3) WebsiteS creation
4) Photography
5) Emerge
6) Sleeping at odd hours
7) playing bejeweled
8) playing guitar
9) trying to play bass
10) trying to exercise
11) trying to finish a song
12) trying to keep on praying
13) reading "Strong Men in Tough Times" by Dr Edwin Louis Cole
14) saving up for my Tamron 17-50mm f2.8 Lense ~ $660
15) saving up for my PSP ~ $289
16) saving up for my future - wanna say priceless but... it's gonna be a huge sum.
17) trying to start to scout ard for jobs
18) trying to jog with my platoon mates
19) waiting to unpack my duffel bag - since 29/11/2005
20) loving my girlfriend :)

So many more things still bogs me.. but hey.. i've spent the whole day in front of my com, so we'll leave that under the category of "etc etc". Spare my aching fingers and radiated eyes please.

Oh well, back to my projects :P

bob
microwaved

Spinning my life in a Web

Definition of Bob's Blog

The expressed form of my thoughts, classified under the category of "id". I'm sorry i short circuited the whole hierarchical order of human behaviour, but my blog is simply what runs thru my mind and DOES NOT represent how I would behave or react upon contact. This is not a case of being hypocritical, rather it's how the "ego", "super-ego", "instinct" and the entire pyscho-analytical mechanism works. I understand that everyone's not perfect, always believing there's something good within everyone, so while i may flame you here, that does not mean i hate you. rather my mind just wanna let out what's brewing deep within my thought realm.

So read on, with a pinch, no, packet of salt.


i dont wanna be a Saul, but a David.

Sometimes i see myself being a people pleaser. Giving in to people at the expense of self. Maybe i'm just seeking attention, perhaps. but let it not be what i'm worth. Let me find acceptance in God's sight. i seek to crumble my pride. i seek to hear His approval.

i miss His voice, His assurance, so much...

God can make me whole, can you?


Don't act la

This was what one of my classmates told me on fri during our class makan with our lecturer. It happened when my meal came before the rest, i didnt tuck in, rather i chose to wait for the rest. Initially the rest were prompting me to eat first but i firmly declined. Coz it's not me. i never eat before others. then the prompting got a bit more intense. The other fella whose meal came at the same time was already chomping down his chow. i still refused their suggestion. Then one of them said, "Dont act la" By then his meal has already arrived and promptly commence consumption. Claiming to be real, himself and not putting up a show kinda statements, it really pissed me off. In retort, i told him and the rest, I would have been acting if i listened to their words and eat first.

Dude, look here. i'm not like you ok. Please don't associate me to your standards. i'm freaking brought up to behave like a gentlemen. While it may seem like an abomination to you, it's what i take pride in, so screw yourself and quit asking me to behave like you.

oh.. what uncouth words. i seek your pardon.


OCS plt 3 gathering














clockwise frm top left
er, me, vincent, ming, ah da at Clinic, The Cannery

quite a sad turn out, but hey those that turned out are those who really cherished the times together. Thank you again for those times, it was most memorable. :)


soldierly stuffs..

Recently i bumped in to a clerk of mine from Tk island, Luqman. Excellent fella, really helpful and one of those fellow soldiers i can count on. It happened along the junction of jln bukit merah n lower delta rd, when this familiar face suddenly popped out of the blue (black for the nite), and shouted "Sir" i was like huh?? then lo and behold Luq was before me. Without hesitation, he introed me to his fren as "one of the best officer" he has worked with. (actually as far as i can remember it was "best officer" only, but let's leave some room for humility else if i quoted wrongly then lagi paiseh) I was like so wowed, n paisehed. guess it's such words that assured me I have made more friends than enemies during my term as an officer.

Then on another occasion a classmate of mine told me, i am like those kind of good officers. My works spoke for me, of which i am taken by surprise coz i was just being myself and not trying to suck up to any one's balls. (oh shit, i'm reminded of the ball carrier again...)

Perhaps i have been surrounded by people who are filled with bitterness against the commissioned. their bad experience translated to a mindset that tainted our friendship. i wish i can tell them there are many good officers ard still and not everyone of them are idiots. You may hate them, but look here, you don't have to hate me with their hatred. let me prove myself, and no thanks to anyone of those who disappointed you.

oh.. time beckons once again. i shall turn in for the morning.


Love you guys. Really.

bob

i am highly perturbed by the zingazanged icon layout for my blog creation process. why is my text box so squashed? why is my icon bar so.. so... tall?! why can't i bold my text like how i used to? clicking on the icon only expose some grotesque phrase like "Error on page" EEwww!

Sigh, technologies.. never humane.

(if you see bold text above means my web lessons in poly were not in vain :P)

Anyway i felt a certain complusion to blog, despite the technological setbacks presented by our very own blogspot goooey (gui). Perhaps i saw too much to keep it all welled within me, the thoughts are breaking out, screaming to manifest into binary codes which would eventually morph into text in a digital dungeon.

Oh yes.. these thoughts ambushed my mind, silenced the procrastinator within and dominated my fingers. Their agenda, to showcase to the world, the finest moments of evolution, where thoughts become text. May I present to you... bob's blog bonzana. (sorry, can't tink of any other "b" word)

it has been a trying time for me, especially in the area of finance. Perhaps those defining moments like a $200 plus hp bill, $180 locksmith fee (of which i paid $100), car rental ($143 and counting)... coupled with the fact that i lost my mobile last nite didnt quite make me any happier. BUT despite the exorbitant lost, what that really set me back was the emotions associated with what was expanded.

The locksmith money came from my ang baos accumulated over time, money that came from my much beloved grandparents and parents. Esp those that came from my grandparents, the money they gave is a symbol of their love for me.. especially so, since they are unemployed due to old age. i felt so bad having to open up their token of love to pay for my mistake.

Then the handphone which i lost contained so many sweet messages n photos of my gf. Not to forget the painstakingly compiled phone directory. SHUCKS.......... I really hope my hp and keypouch can be found intact. Oh God.. :(



Today was quite a life defining moment for me. Coz i drove my dad down to locate his ex colleague who was dying of cancer. Doc gave him like a month left to live, which is quite sad for a man in his mid 40s. When i was there, i could see the resignation in his eyes, the downcast spirit
he bore. I sincerely hope that our presence did make his final living moments a little happier. At least, he knows that people still care.

In his glory days, he left the company after being bitten by the entreprenuer bug. Business ballooned and he drove a merc and lived in a bungalow. Sars came, took away all that he had, and now, he is left to die all alone in a hospice. perhaps, it's time we relooked at our life's agenda.. making big money at the expense of health may not be such a good proposition yeah?

Then another life defining moment was a scene i chanced upon on my way home. what seemed like a suicide attempt foiled by the many CD forces and medical support. The sucidal person was an elderly lady who looked highly distraught. Perhaps life was too bitter to continue living, that ending it seemed like the only option out.

Like what Peter (Spiderman) said, life is full of choices. Let's choose to be happier despite the setbacks. Learn to see the good in every situation and everyone. Things will turn out to be better somehow.


My graduation show is drawing near, unfortunately committee was falling apart. It has reached the place of no return and my lecturer had to re shuffle the team and reappoint the leaders. Too many red indian chiefs sabotaged the show, therefore chaos resulted and stagnation in our progress. They told me, equality among everyone, fairness in appt, no leader is needed. I told them, it wont work, you'll need a leader among yourselves. See.. don't listen to bob.. tsk tsk..

but then i'm also rather bo chap towards it already. It kinda looks hopeless when the management sucks and some of the members are simply balls carrier. Ok, maybe not all.. just one.. FREAKING getting on my nerve.

bob oh bob, work on your port folio pls..

bob's blogspot's blog's stopped for now.

bob
learning diligence and anti-laziness

my frustrations cannot be heard...
less people stumble and wonder what's wrong.
i can only hope...

dying for a stupid cause
Bob in a facade

happy birthday, bob

i thought, if i dont make the effort to blog now, i'll probably never blog at all. And if i don't blog, i'll miss my customary birthday blogging! *Gasp*

Ah-hem... so erm, here goes.

i'm finally officially 24. Ok, 24yrs and 1 day old. It's my golden pig year too.. some kinda chinese zordiac calculation that declared good fortune upon me, and.. the many others who were born in 1983. Say, if all of us were to buy lottery at the same time, who will win?

Birthdays have always been a rather ritualistic affair. Going through the same motion over and over again, with minor modifications that came with the years. It used to be a superbly huge event where neighbouring kids and classmates would drop by to grace this party. Friends and relatives would use it as an opportunity for reunion and, mom, aunts and granny would pool their talents for the preparation of the feast.

But this little boy had only wanted to see what's beneath the wrapping papers.

Fast forward to my 24th. The crowd has died down but it's cool, coz i've got my dearests around me, my parents, grandparents and aunt, bestest cousin Aier, and of course Zarah to celebrate it for me in advance last sunday. Other than that, I guess i've kinda drifted through this day like any other day. In fact it's slightly on the downside.

My laptop has been popping out, "Operating system not found".

It kinda popped my heart out too coz a lot of my precious data are stored on it. Till now, i've been attempting rather unsuccessfully to revive it. Oh God, i need your breath of life on it! Looks like a trip to LG service center is inevitable.

Then the 2nd stunner came, my Amazing Australia Adventure (AAA) has left me with an Astounding bill of $246.22. My heart sank. I could have bought a crumpler, Customary Barge with that amount and change to spare. It was all those little phone calls that chalked up this sky high bill. And for my effort to make singtel smile, i've gotta sacrifice my birthday stash to redeem my ass.

Nevertheless, there is always some positive take away for every situation. Buy a freaking local pre-paid card the next time round.

Then for the first time, my gang did not celebrate my birthday. It was quite a refreshing feel when i no longer got to play robin to batman4es. Sorry i got robingirl, why do you keep insisting she should don the batgirl suit? Anyway it was great. Gave me closure and finally taking pride on my birthday. They may never celebrate my birthday ever again, but hey i got my girl. Thanks Zarah for standing by me, and of course for your efforts to make me smile on this gloomy day.

Then there is this oil spill in my crumpler. Yup, freaking doggy bag gave way while i was transporting leftovers to my girl's place. Shitty feeling man.

On the brighter side of this day, i've received several smses from people all over the place. i really appreciate everyone of them and trust me, they have made me felt a little happier with every sms received. right down to this moment i just got an sms from my sec sch band junior, mumhon~! aww.. so sweet of him yeah?

Ok, sleep bug is eating away half my brain cells already, i'll b back to blog more, especially about my australia trip. Till i recover my aussie photos, stay tuned!

Bob + 2kg

back..

finally i'm back! was away in aussie from 24th Mar to 14th Apr. So if you had attempted to reach me but to no avail, now u you know y. :P

really beat now, i'll let the blogging bug bite tmr. So stay tune... whoever u are.. :P

Cheers
Bob

3 little pigs

once upon a time, there were 3 little pigs who left their mom's house to build their own. Along the way, they had some very interesting encounters.

The first little pig saw an old friend.

How nice it is, thought the little pig. Had wanted to chat for a little longer but the friend's colleagues were waiting for her. Oh well, lamented the pig, perhaps next time then.

The little pig continued his way.


The second little pig saw 2 semi-drunk folks

In the midst of his idllic gaze upon the passing stream, 2 semi-drunk folks approached him and said, "You ok brother? You take care ok? It's a bit late, but happy new year" Little pig was surprised, for he thought he became a target of drunkard bash, for which little pig was prepared to throw his hoof across to knock these wobblies to the ground. Looks like the fallen countenance spoke distinctively despite their tainted analytical skills. Hmm.. Good looking lads, thought the little pig, must be from some art school as they exude a certain artsy fartsy aura with their caucasian n pure chinese look.

The little pig continued his way.


The third little pig saw a susuki swift.

Little pig thought to himself while driving. Why is this swift overtaking me? Little pig stepped up his accelerator and before he knows it, a race had begun.

They both stopped at a traffic light. Moments later, the green light glowed. Like a synchronised act, both cars exploded forward. Little pig floored the accelerator on his 1st gear. Never had him heard the car roaring in that manner. The powerful engine with manual transmission projected little pig ahead of the competition! Subsequent shifts were well timed and by the 3rd gear the car was jumping passed 80km/h. Perhaps a little too much for the car, but it was a gratifying act that had the swift consuming dust trails. Looks like pig has some nifty driving techiques to boot! Manual 1, Auto -100.

At the end of the whole day, the three little pigs decided to combine their resources and build a decent house that would meet their needs for safety, survival and fame.

The End.


Oink
Bob

penning my storm

1) Farewell my friends

It's the season when..

Summer vacationers retreat to their overseas college for the next acadamic year or supplementary papers..

Freshies embark on their degree programme on foreign soil...

And overseas industrial attachments draws high flying geeks away.

All those gatherings and meetings were awesome, catching up brings a lot of memories, and memories are what we have left to keep us all together. Memories are great, but they do falter and fail. especially when old friends do not make the effort to meet up.. Everyone just disappears from one another's life. So before i become insignificant in your lives, let me thank you for those hugs, tears and hope. The laws of depreciation still work its wonders on these perishable assets.

I wish i'm special, but i'm not.


2) Class, arise.

My schooling days are numbered. The final instalation of my school fees invoice has finally arrived and in a few months' time, i will join the workforce, then campus living and class camaraderie will just be things of the past. Sadly many of my classmates are merely aquaintances who are for class projects and nothing more. Where is the class spirit that I always dream of? Where is the class rep to gel the class together for our final steps as a family? WHY ARE YOU IN SECULSION!

What's a class without those innocent dreams and selfless acts. Don't treat one another like colleagues, we are classmates.


3) Genting Confidence Badge

Yes it's true, i have finally driven up to Genting and back. YEah~! The steep slopes although challenging, but it's a great test of the car's engine and the driver's handling skills. It has been a wonderful experience and i'm looking forward to more of it in the future.

This trip is like a just me n Zarah kinda trip. Although we tag along my parents for this trip, most of the time is just Zarah n i exploring the whole place. Lovely companion she has been. Yup~ loving her more with each passing day..

Then we visited my grand uncle in KL. Most nostalgic was to see the place i last visited more than a decade ago. Many memories evoked and emotions stirred. The little boy's all grown up.
The interaction is no longer the same, but definitely more meaningful as i no longer hide in a corner with my toys but sit with the elders and join in their conversations.

i love these people, finally.

bob

The return of Bob

I'm back once again. Or rather, i had restrained my fingers to blog. School projects proved too much of a hindrance to virtual speech.

Anyway, here's some updates and thoughts:



"Designers are not cheap labour."

Edwin encouraged me to blog about it. I hesitated for a moment, then i figured, it's great to voice out here, some kinda therapeutic effect it cast on me.

So what's up with this statement?

Well, there has been a spate of incidents when people approach us designers (my designer friends too), for freelance projects at a highly budgeted fee.

Gentlemen i suspect there's some misunderstanding around here. You are intending to engage me with your public toilet entrance fee?

What you are paying for is..

an intellectual and conceptual approach to design and it's function as a communication tool; to impact the audience conscious and sub-conscious mind and to influence their decision-making algorithm.

You are not paying me to tickle your toes rite?

Of course, if you are having problem interpretting my statement then i figure you have not understood my role as your designer. I'm here to help you solve a marketing/branding problem with an approach of an effective communication designer/advertiser. Well, I may not be as proficient as I should be, but definitely good enough to have taken on commercial projects from Philips, Singtel and many others.

Then again, me being the good-mannered no rejection policy-holder, i can always recommend you an alternative that would suit your budget. Get a primary school kid to splash a collage of colours on an A4 paper. If he's your relative, then easy, buy him a candy to coax him. Else if he's someone elses son, treat his dad to a all expense paid trip to the public toilet nearby. Who knows, he might relent somehow..

Ok, laugh people. Let's not all get tense up and offended (especially if you thought your loose change could trade for some artistic works)

haha. hehe.

Ok, i really laughed while typing it, hope it did for u readers too :)

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I got a close friend, a very awesome and encouraging person, Rouxin, who gotta fly overseas for some kinda exchange programme or Industrial attachment. So on the 20th Jan which I remembered to be her departure date, i was frantically trying to contact her. Her hp was like not responding. msn not online, i even resorted to calling several mutual friends just find her whereabouts.

Haha.

Then i realised it's 20th Feb.

Silly me.


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Relationships are never easy. People been telling me how compatible we are together. But something they gotta realise is the effort we put into bringing it to past. Life is no longer about 2 individual but 1 combined entity. Schedules gotta be planned around 2 timetables, budgetting gotta consider a 100% markup for every meal, movie ticket and just about anything. It's not easy but hey, i'm loving her everyday, somehow feels like it's more that when i first met her.

Then there will be people asking the marriage questions. I'm like ok, it's great, but let's not be pressured into marriage just because others or society deemed us marriable. It's not a hey, let's get married tomorrow kinda issue. There's a whole lot of considerations and planning just to make it happen. There is the financial aspect; how much have we saved up for the wedding ceremony, the expenses for house, car, family etc etc. Then there is the emotional and mental aspect; are you getting married because others tell you to? Are you mentally ready to take on this responsibilty of marrying this person? Are you at that milestone in life when you feel you are ready for marriage?

There are people who have approached us saying, "when getting married.. why wait so long.. i'm planning to get married next year" these kinda stuffs. And then they broke up a few months after. Guys, talk is cheap.. but your cheap talk do throw unnecessary strains on our relationship, casting undue insecurity on both parties. I know it's a bit long, but hey, at least when the day comes, we'll both be fully prepared for the next phase of our lives. Even if we do not get married (touch wood), it's definitely better than a divorce.


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My class rep is a nice lady. Quite a frank person, tactless to a certain extend, but definitely well-meaning. Unfortunately not many have come to appreciate her people-relation skills. To make it worst, she cannot really work with her male counterpart, who, in my opinion is a very effective manager, albeit a tad bit too busy to bother with class activities. So what happened was that she was trying to rally the class for some interaction and feedback session for our graduation ceremony when no one responded. Me being a bit extra, decided to help my poor class rep by going to the front to kick start the class. Lo and behold, class activity revived. So much so that i overheard my class rep making mention that I am more effective than her. erm.. well.. i'll take that as a compliment then. :) army has taught me well.


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Alritey, time to mug like how I should.

will be back to blog.

Cheers
Bob

A Tale or Two

Today marks the end of an automotive story in my life with the collection of Sunny. This accident opened the book and subsequent drives illustrated the remaining sleeves. Perhaps I would like to take some time to recount, and perhaps depict the private thoughts of some of the involved individuals for the closing page.


men in blue:

Again.

Watching these scenes unfolding makes me sick. Circumstances made the victims embrace the scheming ones with their sickle in full sight and yet, refused to acknowledge. Love them you fools! Know that they tripped you to lend a helping hand, tricked you to trust in them.

Take their hands
and their kindred prospers
Make a stand!
and they will suffer

and so will you.

inconsiderate driver:

Another week, another round. Tap the brakes, slam the speed, and watch them pile. Show them care, show them love, and watch them cling to you. Strike them when the time is right, with a namecard on their hands, the deciding moment for all to know.

Some may die, but heck, it's just another week. Perhaps the next would be better.


april:

I thought we are all victims. I thought we could share our grieves and shoulders. But yours are covered with spikes n poison to trap for my trusting heart. How then can I lay, less I be pierced? How then can I trust, if your insurance is after mine?


butt kisser:

My brakes my brakes, where art thee? I stepped where you were not, like a stun I pulled, to stop my car with my foot. MY FOOT!

Alas this stun left me limping like a fool, a wife with a broken head, a frozen kid between tears and fears, a mad friend with an accusing tongue. Oh, and a deep inpression on the Sunny's butt.


passer-by:

Aiyah, should have bought the license plate number for 4D, heng heng come out consolation le!


Looking back, I do realise a few things. Perhaps the most defining would be the difference between manual and auto transmission.

Driving manual transmission is liken to a DSLR camera, as auto transmission is to a Point-and-Shoot camera. Many attest to their linear-geared cars as being the ideal form of transmission. I beg to differ.

These drivers are like your everyday camera users who do not have much of a concept of how aperture, shutter speed and iso co-exist. You just need something that serve a very basic function, to take pictures for information collection. So your auto car is just that, packaged like a point and shoot camera and nothing more. Why? because you do not know what else to do if there is anything more complex.

Manual drivers on the other hand are like SLR camera users. We know what we want, the nitty bitty gritty details. We know how to achieve that depth of field to capture the key feature, to manipulate the exposure to give the desired mood. Likewise we drivers know to use 1st gear to pick up quickly and then climb appropriately to 5th gear to cruise at minimum input for maximum output, at the smoothest transition. Running 80km/h with the engine growling at something like 3rd gear is a joke. Told by my rented auto car by the way.

Renting that car justifies my claim, simply bcoz i have experienced both transmission. The comparision threw stark contrast between the two. Other than the greater ease in jams for auto cars, you guys are just kids in an amusement park driving your bumper cars.

So... quit telling me auto rocks, when it's actually you... erm.. act like a vacuum cleaner.

PS: pls pardon my apparently blunt words, coz I have classmates chanting auto trans like some saviour. Nerve grinding no less. So.. haha.. sorry if anyone is offended. Bob is still lovely afterall.

bob