Blog dear blog

it has been quite a while since i last dropped by. To be exact, it is 5 months and 2 days. Why the hiatus? I don't know. Maybe it's facebook, maybe it's twitter, maybe it is because I am swarmed and overwhelmed in this digital social mayhem that i forgot how i used to blog so diligently..

Recently I have just installed wordpress locally on my laptop. Pretty nifty, everything was a breeze and before i knew it, WP is up and running. The WP's blog inclination over blogspot is perhaps it's popularity in the Web designer's arsenal of choice. The amount of online tutorial, the galleries of WP-based websites, the ever flourishing population.. Not to mention the neat little iphone app. Wordpress, is perhaps, the way to go.

So why am i blogging still in this almost forsaken blog?

I guess some things can never be replaced. The kind of information that this place holds. My outlet when I am at my wit's ends, colliding into the mental block, therapeutic moments of text-uating thoughts. It bore the brunt of my pent up frustrations and emotions. Where else can boast a database of my entire active army days?

Then there is the soothing voice of J.mraz. It makes me feel good. i have refreshed my blogspot several times, lulling myself to the melodious drone. i can't seem to get enough of that accoustic set. maybe there was this subdued chanting that traps me mentally, making me a slave to self.

i love this place, and i wish i will never have to stop blogging here. But alas, life sure do know how to tease me silly when i least expect it.

Oh well, sweet good night to everyone in the earth's shadow..

Lovya all~

Cheers

Bob

live work love life overseas

i've got this secret desire, to be able to work on overseas projects for short stint like a few months at a go. to embrace the culture, to live my life to the fullest. to see the world and people i never knew. no, it does not need to be paris or japan, just somewhere different. 

i will jog in the morning, have my breakfast by the river, work through lunch, snack on chips overlooking the city, join my friends for a hearty dinner and end it with a beer at a local pub with live bands, and on alternate nights, i will run my bass for a local band. i will catch up with my beloved over phone/msn/webcam, pen my thoughts, play the guitar, say a prayer and head for bed. Over the weekend i will do sports and community activities in the morning, laze around on a beach somewhere, go around taking random shots, and finally complete the day with some arty farty parties / functions on sat nights. 

how nice, how far. 

how bob? 

just a little green, a little jaded

it's 1.50am and i can't bring myself to sleep. 

i can't bear the thought of laying down.. and watching the day pass me by. maybe.. just maybe, there is something that i could have done during these few mins before i doze off. But i don't know what. I can't decide.. i'm tired. maybe it's the flu. maybe coz i'm just expecting myself to fly when i'm just.. crawling. 

i guess i shdnt have joined today's gathering. all the bankers and finance freaks. it made me look.. different. 

i know. i just need to rant. i'm being emo here. but hey, emo drives me to certain creativity too. when oppressed, my conscious mind takes a back seat and the sub conscious takes over.. subjecting me to the consequences of the resulting course of actions. sometimes shitty, sometimes shittier. 

i shall not lay waste before the com any further..

goodnite. 

photoshoot supper gang

i got a dream, to photoshoot suppergang in a theme shoot. 

maybe something glam and glitzy, or even superheros. 

now, who wants to don the red undies outside? :)

Christmas, my love-hate affair

I spent a year waiting for this day. For the street lightups, for the tv programmes, for the church service, for the gift exchanges, for the many mini celebrations and for the things that i hold onto so dearly. 

It is closing, i hate to see it go, and i'm dreading the first of the next 365 days wait before Christmas comes again. 

Merry Christmas everyone, be happy, be thankful for everything you have. Coz i am.

Love 

Bob

i know.. you know..

"i can see sadness in your eyes.."

and you don't know how much that meant to me. to know that you know... and that you care..

i love you Zarah.

I hope i make you feel the same way too.

Flashback Bob

Okay, i'm back after such a long hiatus. So many things have taken place over these 2 months, man.. i don't even know how to begin~!

Erm, maybe i'll try a timeline approach:

31 Aug: i signed off my last post
1 Sept: Hand Op

Hand operations are never meant to be taken lightly. As it was my first visit to the operating theater, i had a lot of butterflies to squash, and also some myth that needs certain clarification:

The Gas. Nope, not the doc's fart. The one that they call the laughing gas.

Legends has it that when when you put on the mask, after counting to 10, you will fall into a mysterious state of unconsciousness. Yup. It had a rather spooked sensation when the nurse place it over my mouth and take deep breaths. But i guess my anticipation kinda screwed up the stipulated effect. I took SO many gasps of air in fear that I would be conscious when the doc sinks the blade into my hand. Eventually i broke the unconfortable silence.

"Doc, why am i still awake?"

i could almost hear a certain tinge of sarcasm when he told me soon. Oh, did i mention, i thought i saw a sledge hammer somewhere. i guess that's to be used when i've taken 100 breaths and yet still able to keep repeating the same question over a zillion times.

but i was never conscious enough to reach that centennial figure. phew.

3 long hours past in a flash.

I woke up to the drone of some weird machine next to me.. it was all so surreal. my hand has a new metallic implant and I'm about to embark on the next phase of my life. While i was in this state of bewilderment, the nurse came over and brought me milo n some biscuit, then she broke a rather amusing news in chinese to me. "did you know you kicked the doc while you were unconcious?"

WOW! Coolness la!

I must have had a rather physical dream man.

Of coz soon my beloved appeared as promised to stand by me. Awww.

Sept 21 - 24: Company trip to moscow.

Definitely an eye opener. :)

Oct 4th, 11th: Kun ying Wedding~!

My best friend's wedding~!! I gave of my dad's car and my brotherhood services. The entourage thingy was a test of our brotherhood. hahahahah. Really. Like I have said once, and I'll say it again, brotherhood forever~! We even went all the way to batu pahat for his msia side wedding. Really la.. enjoyed seeing all of us together again, like the good ole days. Hopefully we will all be so close even when we are all old and greying. nothing beats uncles' rock n roll. :)

Man.. i've got a SUPER HUGE BACKLOG PHOTOS TO CLEAR!!

:P

Oct 13 - 24th: Reservist (The Chronicles of Ah Boy)

going to reservist with a broken hand and an "excuse ict" medical slip from my specialist aint exactly the most happening thing. it was quite a dilemma as i struggled between 2 options. To downgrade permanently and potentially never have to serve again. OR to go thru this ict with my guys and forgo the downgrading opportunity.

It wasn't long before i knew what i wanted. I saw those familiar faces, their smiles and hearty greetings that i thrived on, in my training and active days. Just like the good ole days, donning the green, sweating out together, and sharing mindless jokes in the moonlight sky. The look in their eyes said it all. no, nothing gay here. Just the knowledge that I have a bunch of friends here in this camp, and that I want to go through the remaining few years together.

And no, not as an admin soldier, definitely.

So while my handicapped hand refused me combat or physical work, i still went thru the motion and basically did what they did to the best of my single handed ability, or just be around. idelic or not.

I guess i must have contributed substantially despite my non-combativeness, so much so that i got nominated as the plt's best officer~!! Woohoo!! That really left me in a shock. Seriously. I even blurted out at my pc if he was sure about choosing someone who missed a lot of physically stuffs. His affirmation said it all.

Thank God for the favour. hahahah :) Really.

No prizes though, just regonition. And i'm really glad. But definitely, i am surrounded by very deserving individuals who are excellent officers and contributed in their various areas of expertise.

:D

Then there was the game during happy hour, in which i was sabo-ed to join. Though i was arrowed in, but i enjoyed it thoroughly, coz all of my team mates are my former cohort mates! these faces i saw for almost all my ns days, are here with me in reservist, in the same game. Without a doubt, our camaraderie led us to a flawless victory. It was so interesting as to how we would strip everything, sans the undies n shorts, to form the longest line in the shortest time. When Firdaus laid out his cigerettes one by one, i knew i can only find such folly in the company of close friends.

Eventually we won, and got ourselves a thumbdrive each. :)

We were so foolish, but so happy. :)

let end off with something i wrote on the day when we out-pro-ed.

So there it was
two weeks of training past me by
like the rain,
the rushing wind,
then the rainbow in the sky

Still remember
Every moment in the countryside
the shining stars,
and fireflies,
made us children in the silent night

So it shall be
When we go on our seperate ways
your hearty smiles
and warm embrace
Will be the greatest joy of my army days



Oct 19: Zarah's Birthday!!

Yup, the pride and joy of my life. The one who made me a fool for her. The one whose photo i took to camp and showed off to all my platoon mates, the one i'm gonna marry.

Zarah Chua~! Wait for me!! :)

hhkkss


love
bob

D-day, H-hour

bob [b-orb] adverb, noun, verb
~ term for a variety of emotional states :
excited / confused / hopeful / a bit fearful / confident / loved

After tomorrow, someone new will come into my life.

My Physiotherapist.

i'm fine... soon

as some may have known, i recently hurt my hand in a fist fight with my kitchen wall. Yes, adrenalin made me assume the wall is filled with beanies, thus my latest research findings; adrenalin is actually brain juice pumped to every part of the body, sans the brain itself.

Anyway the fierce battle left me with a distorted hand and a pair of hysterical parents. It was a surreal moment as I reasoned within myself seconds after impact. I thought, did my knuckle shift back? No, not possible. Unless, i dislocated it in the weirdest fashion possible. And i really believed so. Coz given the pain at that moment, nay, how serious could it be?

I was so wrong.

We went to the A&E at SGH. Initial examination had everyone believing it was a bruise swelling that gave me a pain scaled 5 out of 10. Did a routine X-ray and nurse gave me a queue number to wait along with the rest of the patients. Nothing strange, until i got a phone call shortly after i got my queue number.

"Mr Li, can you please come to room 12 now?"

Eh? Why the special treatment. Something's not right.. And as i was being led to view the x-ray, doc lamented to me...

" Nian qing ren, why so chong dong?"

And lo and behold. My x ray result.

( vulgar text here ).

My hand's screwed. Big time.

I couldn't believe beneath the swell was the broken ends of my bone. It's a pretty clean break i must say. So effectively, I have increased my body's bone count by 1. It's so uncool.

I was whisked off immediately to see the hand specialist. A big friendly man. Nice fella who did an analyst of the x-ray and like some CSI show, explained how it became so ugly. Basically it's a typical boxer's fracture. When we drive our fist forward, the initial contact point is the middle knuckle. As we impact, the wrist naturally bends the fist to transfer the momentum downwards from the middle, to the ring knuckle and finally, the pinkie's knuckle. At this junction, there isn't any more knuckles that I can transfer the flow of energy, so the last knuckle absorbs all the force. And it's a lot of force by non boxer's standard. Therefore the inevitable fracture.

Like what my doc Tay said, " Wah, you pumped the wall so hard?"

Strong ah, bob?

Then i found out why we needed such a big man for a hand specialist. As he prepared the cast for my broken hand, he told me it's gonna hurt a bit.

And.. i believed him. Coz, he's the doc.

right.

IT FREAKING HURT A BIG BIT.

Wah.. i could feel him pressing the broken ends down to meet again. His huge hands provided ample strength to forcibly hold my hand together again, and he packed in a lot of pain too.

So that was it. The cast was set till last week when the doc changed it to a plastic splint for support and increased level of convenience. Currently i am waiting for my ops next monday, and hopefully no complications watsoever, I can resume my life with my new metalic implant.

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It has been an amazing life's lesson that I have never prepared for.

I learnt a lot. I saw a lot of emotion. I saw how vulnerable is the human brain. I saw mankind's weaknesses. I saw those who cared, those who tried to care and those who never did. Some encourage, some simply disgust me big time. Then i realised how much my heart has been wrought by my circumstances. Yes I have changed as a result of this incident. But i guess it's just a routine I needed to go through to be me.

Overnight I became a burden. I couldnt do the dishes, sweep and mop the floor. I relied a lot on people around me. I came closer to understanding how it feels like to be a handicapped. It is just so tough. Many may try to empathize, but who really knows the emotional strain we go through? Who really understand our thoughts? It is more than just a disablement of a portion of the body, but a lost of some of our abilities that we have taken for granted all our lives.

So wounded that i felt wasted. I fought so much emotional battles just to smile again. Don't assume I am weak. Try standing in my shoes as you remove the splint to wash your hand; the deformed hand with a cavity in your palm and an unnatural bump on the reverse side beckons out to you. As you scrub it, a sickening feeling runs through your body as your last finger sways precariously because it is no longer supported by the palm structure. Every wiped is coupled with an unnerving sensation that runs from the finger to the elbow. As you turn your hand around to wash the underside, half of your palm flops along with gravity. Try holding the soap and you realize you lost the use of ur last 2 fingers.

Then there is this host of people I need to coax and reassure. I lied so that they wont feel so sad. I encouraged them by day and cried by night. I have put up such a fort that no one knew the wounded me inside. Not even myself.

I have lost a lot, But i am not giving up. I have cried all i needed, so now it's time to move on. At least my hand's a lot more mobile now ever since the swelling gone down. At least i can still type.

Thank you to all who stood by me and encouraged me in your big and little ways. Much appreciated. Special thanks to my granny, my fav cousin, girlfriend, church friends, Sim friends who bothered to ask ard for my condition, and of coz my parents, for standing by me despite being such a disappointment.

I will be better. I promise. Because you all have given me a reason to.

loved.
bob

no tear, no fear.

world oh world, where is the beautiful soul i so believed in? why is your countenance turning darker by the careless flow of time? is there no love?

i shall not crumble, never will i fall. i will fight on, even when all has forsaken. i'm down, not out.

Oh God, please help.

Boonbag photoshoop

Yes! Finally we had our first ever professionally taken photoshoot.

Okay i lied. Again.

It's actually for Kun's wedding photo / video. Nevertheless, it was great fun, despite the erratic weather.

And do you know what is the coolest thing of doing your own MTV? You can play wrong notes, get in and out of tempo at will, headbang like Michael Jackson (hah) and at the end of the day when everything is mixed together, MAgic! Action-beh-dey like dunno what and we get studio quality output. Talk about the adobe revolution~!

As for the sound on site, we didnt even need to bring our amps along. Just plug one end to our instruments, and the other end to the drummer's stool~! truly, we bring new meaning to "musical chair". No wonder Waiyin looked a bit out of sort with all those cables running from his position.

Everything went pretty well. Yupz. Can't wait to see the jumping shots~!

Bob

blog for my dear brain

i'm here again. in a place i almost forgot. My rambles are no longer heard, as much of it is concealed beneath this scalp of mine, suppressed and never really expressed, except in little notions driven in all directions but the obvious.

work has been choking up my weekly schedules. I watch my life slip thru my fingers as i slowly lose control over what was once mine. i feel like i'm constantly giving, be it of my time, finance or effort, i'm diverting all these personal resources to anyone but myself. Although many a times i find myself at the losing end, still i derive joy from such charitable acts. Perverted, but in a good way.

National Day would have taken little significance if it weren't for the passing of my alma mater's ex-principal. I had volunteered to play in my alumni band for his funeral service that morning. Yes, after years of trombone abstinence , i picked up my instrument in good faith and contributed whatever talent(or the lack of it) I have, in remembrance of a great leader of the St. Andrew's family. Truth of the matter, i was never under him during my secondary school days. When I joined st andrews i was already under the then acting principal Mrs Krempl, who eventually saw me all the way thru my saintly days. So why did I actually bother to drag myself out of bed at 6 am with barely 4 hours rest and ignored my scheduler to scorch under the sun for a man i never really knew?

Simply, it was my love of the band members, appreciation of his contributions and the pride of my school.

If it werent for the likes of Shenloong and benny, I would have long deserted that hellhole like 3/4 of my cohort who did so. We practiced so many weekdays' afternoons away to live up to the good name of sasmb, endured countless punishments in accordance to the whims and fancies of our seniors. Still it was because of this comradeship we shared, compelled me to extend a helping hand when my fellow section mate, Arthur, requested for our help.

Mr Harry Tan was the man who supported the band through its infancy and all the way to one that shares the stage with the very best in Singapore and perhaps, the world. How can I not return this favor in his final rites? No Mr Harry Tan, no band, no trombonist me.

Finally, I love my school. I take pride in being called a saint. Although there is this kinda love-hate relationship I have with St Andrews, I still love this place and i hope to send my kids (boys of coz) back there to experience the st andrews way of life.

Anyway i had a great time catching up with my friends, playing my much beloved trombone, and I also saw several of my former teachers and school mates. Guess it's pretty heartwarming when generations of SA boys came together in one accord to remember this great saint of our time. All that fatigue and blazing heat is worth every bit. Definitely.

my love of the school, made me a fool. A happy one indeed.

RIP Mr Harry Tan

With this, I would like to end with the last stanza of my school's hymn:

One family unbroken We join with one acclaim, One heart, one voice uplifting To glorify Thy name.


What's a gathering without a parting shot?




Up and On!

stop and glare

ok, i know i shdnt b blogging now, but oh well, heck the projects, i'm facing a potential mental nuclear meltdown from all the thoughts.

i tink as we age, we develop different expectations and value systems. and sometimes these differences conflicts with those around, even ones we count amongst the inner circle of trust.

i must confess, i have changed too. i dont have that luxurious abundance of time as i used to. my life revolves around a digital scheduler that keeps me in check with all that i'm pursuing and commited to. but in the process, a lot of impromptu plans by those i love are inevitably shut out. it's quite a spoiler to be one of those who replied more no/s than yes/s. it's my fear, that one day my actions will contribute to the cessation of this circle.

don't give up on me, i'm still trying.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

boonbag, we are a ministry before music. i can afford to lose the band, but not its members.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

anyway on a brighter note:

my flat will be ready in 2011 Oct! Yes, i'm so excited for it, and so is my beloved wife to be, Zarah. :)

my company will be sending me to moscow in sept for work / recreation. although it's just a few days but i tink it's awesome still :)

had a very fruitful photoshoot session with my dear at haji lane last weekend. got several shots that i love a lot. definitely some of these shots will b showcased in our new house. :)

i helped to cover a church event last fri. was really fun snapping those shots :)

man.. i really love photography. not pro yet. but hopefully soon. :P

okay, back to work.

love
bob

of cloudy skies and silver linings

sometimes when bad things happened one after another, it makes one wonder about the reality of this person that we believe in. We'll just wonder why there is no intervention of any sort, even if it means dropping a psp from the sky and smashing my window, i'll be more than happy.

I had my fair share of shit yesterday. So much that i almost fell out with my girlfriend coz i was totally grouchy, stressed, highly irritable. Everything just seemed to go wrong. coz i'm the mc for my boss's wedding today (sat), and i was totally unprepared. clothes not ironed, sequence of events unsure, dont know my speech. got several coordinations to tie down, n i still had cell meeting at the evening. So by the time when it's about time tat i got home to prep for the next day, i got another surprise. i actually left the cds tat i need for sound check early the following morning in my colleague's car. tried calling him several times to no avail as he had left his hp in his car. So after much deliberation, i resorted to driving down to the groom's house which is like one end of sg to pick up the spare cd. and by the time when i reached his place after several wrong turns, it was like almost 2am. totally sucky. And when i was so ill prepped, my dad threw a last min bomb that he needed me to send him to work at 6.45 in the morning, i was totally zonked out.

WHAT THE %$@#^ IS GOING ON?!?!

yes, i was pissed. even when ironing the clothes in the wee hours of the night / morning, i discovered mould patches on my shirt. already i was transfigurating into a panda but still i had to clean my shirt as i iron it.

A sleep deprived, semi-conscious coordinator / emcee is not a very good start. but still the wedding has to go on. So despite my pathetic condition, i carried out my tasks to the best of my abilities. Yup, i survived the morning / afternoon session.

Everything basically went thru pretty well all the way till dinner and boy did i heave a mighty sigh of relief. Coz i'm just required to seat back n relax during dinner. No more responsibilities.

During the proceedings of the wedding dinner, there is this segment that the couple starts offering thanks to their loved ones. At such moment, they will thank everyone, and on top of that list out a few names in particular to thank them. Firstly they thanked God, next they thanked their parents, after that they thanked their relatives in general, followed by their brothers n sisters who helped with the whole event. Then at this point of time, the groom made a special mention of someone who went through so much to make the wedding a success. No, it's not those brothers or sisters who are supposed to be the key players in his wedding, not his legions of cousins and close friends, but unexpectedly, me. it's quite an experience especially when i'm not really that close to him and he kinda got the whole dining area to scan around for me. that was when i realised that all i went thru was not in vain. The extra mile covered meant so much to him that he would actually sieve me out from his bunch of brothers, cousins and close friends and appreciate me for what I have done. Touched. Not only by his words, but also by the way God works.

Truly, no eyes has seen, nor ears have heard, of what God has planned for us.

So as we left the place with the groom n his lovely wife thanking all of us as we leave the place. I gave a salute to the groom. Out of respect, and in a way, my form of reciprocating his kind words. Also another reason is because we had a rather officerly kinda working relationship for the whole wedding process. Dont really know how to put it in words, rather cheesy too, but hey, he deserves it.

I'm really feeling good about the whole event.

Have a everlasting and blissful marriage my dear friends.

love
bob

east mountain rises again

Hooray! My Xray result has declared my healthy state. THank you all for ur care, concern and prayers. I have yet survived to fight another day.

Of coz my not-so-near-death experience is not going to put me out of action. Well.. not anytime soon. Coz there's just so many things that I want to do. Even if it risk breaking a few bones here n there. i wont stop trying till i'm down, i wont quit till i'm out, i wont surrender till it's over. Like my SSM once said, he wants to die in a war and not on his deathbed. I guess I want to die knowing i've done all that I can, all that i dared and perhaps more.

*flips the pages*

i've kinda got bitten by the emcee bug. My company's recent gala dinner that i emcee-ed must have been pretty good coz my boss asked me to emcee for her wedding. And lo and behold, i've got another emcee appointment in Oct for Kun's wedding~!

Hahaha. i like their faith.

*flips again*

my flat agent told us that we can expect to see the flat in 3 years time!!!Oh My!!! So exciting. i hope i'll have saved up enough for all the pretty pretty things in our love barrack (nest feels too cheesy for me). i forecast, 3 weekends of house warming parties. i hope no one will swing the wii controller outside the window. 34 storeys can potentially turn even a nose booger into killer litter material. (alrite, a really big one) i hope i have really nice and friendly neighbours. I am so gonna buy fruits for them to make peace on the first day. :)

alritey. time to get back to work. dreaming rocks man.

love
bob

Angels touched me.

The clock held its pace, people held their peace. A moment of tranquility, almost surreal, frozen, in its time.

I didn't blink, coz i didn't dare.

In an instance, a horrendous screeching noise of grinding steel, tarmac and flesh shattered that time zone and screamed into my ear drums and jolted me to my senses. No, I wasn't the bystander, I just contributed my flesh to the symphony.

Like a heavenly bugle call, angels shed their mortal veil and manifested all around me. There were those locals who came to my aid and helped me to the side of the road and parked my bike safely on the side. Then followed by my colleagues who administered first aid, and according to those who ran off looking for the medical supplies, the locals were like shouting to them instinctively to guide them to the nearest pharmacy. Touching. I must have been the talk of the town for those fleeting moments.

Then angels came in the form of the other tourists who chatted with me, offering encouragement and advice. Then there were the attentive receptionists who helped me with the changing of the dressing of my wound. But there was this person who helped me changed my dressing, left a deep impression in my mind. My boss.

Sometimes we don't really expect our superior to extend that level of assistance because it feels humiliating to them. Then at that moment, I was reminded of how Jesus washed the feet of His disciples as she washed my wound with the saline solution. She didn't have to do it because I could manage it myself, but she insisted.

I used to think she's really proud, maybe arrogant, bitchy to a certain extend, but when she extended that level of help to her subordinate, all that preconceived mindset just vanished.

Then there were the multitudes who just came up to me just to find out how am I doing and offered advices ranging from traditional healing methods, to riding tips and even riding stories garnered during their heydays, n many more.

Somehow this accident I had, gave all these people a chance to show a good side of themselves. It also became an excellent conversation topic with all my colleagues. Perhaps, it's not such a bad thing after all. I mean by virtual of the fact that I still joined the team building games the following day and even led my team through the tug of war challenge to victory, i guess some of them might be( assumption ) encouraged.

Their angelic side didn't end in Koh Samui. When i returned to Singapore, my colleagues were like smsing me on my condition while I was away to see the doc and take my xray. Also when I got back to office, apart from the constant get well wishes, one of the kind aunties from my parent company actually brought some solution from her home for me to wash my wound with it. So sweet!

Yup, I have been really touched. Feels good to be fussed over. It's moving to see people coming forward and doing things out of their comfort zone for me. To know that I meant something to my colleagues leaves a sweet after-taste to the accident. Really appreciate everyone's love, care and concern.

Marcus even called me up and prayed for me over the phone. Solid la bro. Brotherhood! Much appreciated.

But all in all, my girlfriend has always been that ever present support through the whole episode. The only one who sees beyond my smiley countenance, hears my whine and complains. Thank you my dear!

Yes, I do believe, every cloud is silver-lined.

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Zarah and I are getting closer to our dream home!! so exciting :) Gonna pay the 5% downpayment next week. :) I'm so gonna get a 42 inch plasma tv for the living room~!!!! Just thinking of it gets me all excited. Oh, did i mention it's gonna be another ~~~ 4 yrs time? :P

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Did i mentioned my birthday is like over???

Although I've been typing for the past hour on this blog, i MUST have this entry. Because this touched me so much and simply meant a whole lot to me.

I didnt have much plans or hope for my birthday actually. Coz I had the combined birthday with ben on thurs already, and on the actual day I'll just celebrate it with a simple dinner for 2 at fish n co at the glass house.

Or so i thought.

When I arrived at fish n co, my gf simply led me up to the 2nd level. Nothing too wow about that, but what took me by surprise was the presence of the supper gang! I mean.. it's like ages when supper gang did something like this to surprise a member on their birthday! I was literally speechless, close to tears, and totally blown away. I cant thank everyone enough but I still must say it (even though it's like almost a month after right now), thank you guys! i really love all of you!

And so, here's a tribute to those who etched my 25th birthday celebration onto my heart.

thank you guys!

Love
Bob

Jaded

i tink tis is a sad world. every now and then someone will be there to lament how they have been ill-treated by their circumstances and are heavily burdened. nope, society wont help, the self-righteous seemed hindered by some unseen forces to help. yup. so i try to help. i realised that i'm like a dying breed of people. wholesome by nature, jaded by mankind. i listen to all the sob stories, i sympathize and help where i can while the rest just analyse and advise. wt%. i'm like the only clown walking the walk. so thus began the jadeite process.

recently my dad "confronted" me about some contributions that i make to some organizations. i tot he's gonna recite his 10 yrs series lecture of this rodent infested world, but no. he just told me, God sees it.

that's a refreshing view from someone like my dad. he can be quite a skeptic, doesnt believe in handouts, must fend for oneself, etc etc. a hardy man. nevertheless, a good man. so with those words of encouragement, he gave me a reason to cont these charitable works.

life. hum bug.

i'm slowly starting to break track and find new reasons and purposes. i may not be right, but at least i can lift my head high.

dont tell me, show me.

bobbaleena
(some gay fren gave me this name :P)

ps: no, i'm not turning gay if u r wondering. i love the army.

to the greens and back

It was all a breeze.

Okay at least i try to pretend that we were lazing in the bunk everyday and have a Nuahz of a time. Sadly, no. I saw so much vegetation that my preconceived impression of reservist was totally revamped and the motion of which felt like active unit again.

But despite all the sufferings, I am really glad with what I have went through. I have an awesome bunch of guys under me, my superior likes me, and I got a whole of of friends going through this together. Yup, people whom i counted on to keep me sane through those army daze. The best way to describe the experience; is going through ocs again but without the excessive tekan. Lovely.

10 years suddenly dont seem to be such a long time. Perhaps one day I may just volunteer for a 2nd cycle when my first is over. Then again we'll see how things go.

Yup, and so it was a breeze of my buddies' sweat mixed with "Off" sprays and mosquito coils.

Cheers
Bob

PS: there's so much I want to type but the clock beckons me to bed. oh well :P

People Relation n some others

People relation is a virtue in life that we cannot deny. Intangible as it may be, the effect of it casta strong impression or repercussion, for those who fail to identify the fragility of it. It is more than just a monologue, a one way passing of information, but a series of thoughtful AND heartful action and reaction from parties involved to achieve a common understanding and goal.

Come to think of it, PR is a skillset highly sought after in the corporate world with organizations willing to fork out good money for those imbued with those talents. If not how do they clinch those big deals, work with their partners/contractors, and achieve camaraderie and teamwork amongst their staff?

PR to me is very important. It is really akin to friendship. I guess it stems forth from the day in Pri 3 when i told my classmate at the back of the classroom that every friend counts. It's more than just achieving some corporate agenda, but really, making friends and keeping them.

But of course, the heart is willing but the flesh is really stupid. There are times when i did things that screwed up close friendships big time. I cant turn back time, and I'm too prideful to go on my knees to beg for forgiveness. For such, i learnt to let go, and let God. I'm still learning and I know I still got a long way to go. Yeap, still pressing on.

There are some people whom I have grown up with over the years and i really love these folks. But as we go on in life, our lives' agendas come into effect. When activities that do not go inline with what we would like for the group kicks in, we start to drift apart. So what do we do when that happens? That's when expectation management comes in.

Frankly speaking, I'm not counting much to come from the gang when it comes to my birthday. I dont know why. Although the amount i contribute annually for birthdays is more than what I get, I still continue doing so. I must admit i was bitter and still is to a certain extend about it, but really, this is one of the few things i can do to keep the gang together.

People are really not perfect. We screw up a lot of things in life. But we have abilities like PR and expectation management to help us mitigate through this life's journey.

I still believe that everyone has this desire to keep the gang together. Just like those days, youthful and foolish, foolishly happy.

My coke, milk and apple juice cocktail. Shared with those i loved and still love dearly.

Brotherhood (and sisterhood for some) forever
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As some would have known, i am in the midst of my reservist. I wont deny the sianness of booking in and being confined for the week. But definitely there is a great joy in being able to come together with so many from my previous units. All these familiar faces and common background breaks the ice like sledge-hammers to ice-cubes. Am in love with these unit and I really hope that I can stay in it with these guys for all my ict years. I long to join my friends so much that i nearly fell out with my boss to come for this ict, and with the next ict being held during the busiest time of the year for my company, i am really troubled by it.

Oh well, one more week to go, gotta make the best of it. Hopefully it's not my last with these guys.

Fighting on!

Bob

17th - 28th March ICT

Back to the greens. So many thoughts. So exciting. I'll cya all soon :)