Dear 2004,

thank you..

The memories you have left me.. the times I teared, and cried.. the emotions shared..

thank you for them all..

scale the mountain tops of taiwan
survived the jungles of brunei
fall so deeply in love, so deeply in love with my dear
The strength of the people, in the event of natural disaster.
God's presence and strength in my toughest days...
mastering the art of stand sleeping
My best friends are here, never left me despite my long weeks n months of training..
The smiles shared with my platoon guys in trying times
I found a friend in kimberly
Channel I leaving the tv screen.
Bc rich came into my life
leading my first bunch of recruits
I found a lost friend in wanhui
When faith returns, to know she's going again

well.. these r juz what that comes to my mind for now...

farewell

anyway... hello 2005!

Wow...
how days fly
how time never lie
of what it can reveal
tides aside, nothing concealed

I've gotten myself a bc rich warwick bass.. haha

I've been so bogged down in camp.. not that shagged anymore like ocs daes... juz bz doing the norms... :P

Lord!! let me do greatest in my lifetime!!

Love
weijian

life as an officer...

this week marks my last week as an apc(assistant pc) in "Gyrphon" coy. My stint there was though short, but satisfying. No amount of words can describe the sense of fulfillment when you become a leader of men, young and full energy, the kind of things you can inspire them to do. I enjoy leading by example, running alongside with my recruits, carrying heavier fieldpack to spur them on in route march, standing with them in the grenade bay risking my watermelon with explosives in their butter fingers. When you truely care for your men, they can see, and with it comes respect.

I just bumped into some recruits yesterdae at sakae. although they are from a different platoon, the warmth n frenship extended to me was simply touching. i may not be their leader, but perhaps my dedication to my platoon was evident to them. They also made mention of my inspiring act of packing medicine balls into my fieldpack for route march.

never forget the needs they have. To you they may be a platoon of men, but to them you are an individual, a leader who is empowered to make a difference in their lives.

oh yeah... i'm off to be a staff officer. paperwork n tyranic superiors seems to be the staples of the day. why then did i choose to be a staff you may ask? coz i've got a purpose for my life. i know i'll better spend my free time after office hours out of camp. I've got plans for my future and work for it starts now...

idllic days are but a passing wave
a dream to see, but nought to behold
stop whirling world in your endless daze
to see a purpose, till the daes of old.

gotta go get busy :P

weijian

A lil extract of what i wrote to my most beloved;

i may not be able to impact some old ladies down the streets,
housed alone,
death impending.

But at least i can make a soldier smile,
load lightened,
soul heartening.

Someday, some soldiers will say, "i had this officer who led me for 2 weeks and he inspired much."



Show me a leader, and I'll know his men.
Show me the men, and I'll know their leader.

*someone i forgot who*

ARGH!
what is the world coming to?! So many people been stepping on my feet, chewing on my tiny nerve, kicking me straight into my funny bones.

i'm too tired to tink now...
lemme go rest n tok to zhou gong about tis issue :P

no lahz.
God lah.

good nite folks...

Wat lovely time we had at the Comms Ball!!

My dear took several photos of us around Shangz, dressed in our most elegent ball wear, looking pretty in ever corner of the place. The ambience was great, the place was magnificent, the memories were sweet. Definitely her companionship made it a perfect evening :)

hope to go there again one dae!

Weijian

A thought to pen...

Wow...finally, i'm updating this wonderful blog of mine. it's been a long long while since i last made an input, due to negligiance and procrastination. Yupyup.. oh well, better late than never. Yeah?

time flew by, subconciously, leaving a track to trail.
there i was, stumbling on, an aching soul to fail
try as i may, with might or flight, it never stood still
slowly but surely, my heart to feel, my soul to heal

deep eh?? yeah~! i tot so too! came up with tis in a couple of minutes.

Yesh, time has passed me by so quickly, so fast. Been thru survival, graced a mountain peak, baptized in river, shed tears of joy, fought senselessly, heart flipped ceaselessly, with a rotting limb. frens missed, buddies lost, experience gained, and more to come.

Right now i've already graduated from my school and moved on to a new phase of military life. wow... got a choc bar, tasted it's power, yeah.. feels good but heavy. guess tat's the price to pay, on top of those downpayments for the last 10 months.

Coming back to a place of knowing God more. Praise and faith, making it possible. I'm hoping to contribute more to my cell, church and of coz Godly works. yeah~ things r in the pipeline... coming to past. :)

yeah~ just gotta hold on and enjoy the ride.

some say, you'll never know that you've lived until your existence has been inflicted by external forces.

how true...
I never knew how nice was it to be able to attend school everyday
I never knew how beautiful the HDBs looked at night
I never knew how tasty boiled potatoes tasted
I never knew how wonderful is it to sit around chatting with my grand parents even when obstacles like language and physical deafness stood their ground.
I never knew a lot of the minute things in life that i once took for granted, meant so much to me..

but there's something that's rather peculiar...

I thought I knew you mean a lot to me...
but i was wrong..

You simply mean too much to me... way too much...

Love ya lots bibi dear~!

weijian

yeah~! finally... i'm with Zarah~!

yupyup. Being with her brings me great joy. And i look forward to better years ahead with her till eternity.. hahahaz... mushy??? too bad if ya can't stand it.. :P

okidoki.. i think i'll get back to my bunk soon.

love ya all..

Weijian

hello blog..

Wow... how time flies.. come to think of it.. i've finally made it thru cadet life for so long n now i'm like left with 3 more months before all these ordeal will come to an end.. hopefully :P

right now training is more survival based and before we know it.. there will b a much slimmer me... after all the starving and foot movement over great distances... hahaz.. my final attempt at getting the abs i've never tot existed..

i wonder how's the blogs of my friends... never been able to view them.. coz i've reformatted my com.. yeahz.. so sad.. lost their add.. dumb virus attacked me com while i was away in training..

Kun gave me a very nice t-shirt.. designed by a great friend of mine.. weihao.. then there was this short but meaningful quote on the paper bag.. "whatever relationship that is built on God will never be lost." how it made me ponder bout the friendship between ben n i.. all the talk of brotherhood seems so fake.. am really tired of making the move to approach him, coz he's not helping it at all.. alwaise showing me a black face.. sacastic words..

but i'm gonna try again.. been praying about it.. to mend what was broken.. esp since Zac wants me to patch things with him. hopefully it's bcoz of the friendship that's why i'm doing it, n not solely bcoz of Zac.. else the friendship will be of no point at all..

tink i better go get busy wif me camp prep... gotta book in liaoz..

missya mr blog...

one of those emo moments :P...

Sitting around i idled and stared
at the pictures moving in thin air
flickled upon the walls of my mind
telling a story that made me cry

i'm a thinker and once again i'm flooded by my thoughts. some good some bad some just to take up brain time.

ouch.. my back's aching.. the training has been mighty torturous.. but it's good.. brings me closer to becoming a better soldier..

okie.. tink i better get some rest soon :P

cheerios
weijian

dear blog...

i'm going back to camp once again.. n i'll be having another out field event this coming week.. out fields are not really something that i'll look forward to, esp since i just came back from taiwan earlier tis week.. hmm.. wish i can just sit back n rest... stop all this training and be a civilian.. or at least a 8 to 5 military personnel...

oh well.. i'll just lift my head up and walk this officer grooming path.. Lamp unto my feet, Light unto my path.. trust that God is leading me on in this phase of my life..

just chill out and enjoy the ride~

love
weijian

I'm back~!

Training overseas has really been quite an experience. It gave me the chance to see several of life's issues n other aspects from a different viewpoints, also made me cherish what i have even more...

Hmm.. what a lot of thoughts flooded my mind. Tried to type on several occasions but held back fingers.. wondering if i typed tat then there's so many other events i would need to type... I guess talking to me in person would be the best.. hehehe.. yeah.. missed me? then come find me personally.. and find out what i've been thru during the last few weeks.

basically taiwan is cool if you dont look at the summer heat and mountain ranges. Oh not to forget what impression we left on the taiwanese ladies. Great looking dudes :P yupyup.

Soldiering on~

weijian

I'm surprise~! by the amount of viewership tis place has.. Seems like quite a few of my frens have chanced upon tis lil sauntuary of mine..it somewhat gives me this sense of intrusion.. but then again..touched in a sense, coz people care to read.

due to the overwhelming reader's response to the fainting incident, here's a lil behind the scene of what really happened tat caused me to concuss..

basically i've been training in the scorching sun with minimal shade for 2 days. then my body wasn't in very good shape already.. it was a pre-diarrhoea time, poor appetite coupled with intensive training kinda made my health worst. Then I just keep to the training schedule, didnt want to miss too much of the lessons. yupyup..

So when i finally got admitted, the IV needle kinda activated the fainting pocess. That's when i realized the cause is due to over-exhaustion and dehydration.

So to those of you who have been poking me in the sides n taunting me, i'm not weak hor.. :P

As for those genuinely concern, I'm doing fine liaoz.. yupyup

anyway today's the dae, when soldiers grow wings and fly.. i'll not be around until the 15th of june.. yupz.. so you guys juz enjoy yourselves n don't miss me too much hor~

Soldiering on
weijian

hmm.. i've tried to sleep in.. but can't really.. despite the fact i slept at 5am this morning.. i think my biological clock is set to waking up before the breaking of dawn... tis is bad for me body.. :P

Feels great to be sitting around.. feeling really relaxed.. n tinking of what to do next... something i used to take for granted during my pre-poly n poly years. Amazed at how mindsets are changed by the army..

okiez.. i better do something more productive.. else i'm gonna stab myself silly when i begin my mad rush juz before my flight..
yupyup.. u heard it rite.. i'm flying off to taiwan already... yeah~ for my first overseas training.. cool eh? will get to see loads of things and interact with loadsa people. yeah~!

but i'll miss home n the people around.. yupz.. u guys... oh well.. 3 weeks aint too long eh?

soldiering on~!

Here's a post dued last weekend...

Day: Tuesday
Time: 11;30am
Location: Medical centre

There i was.. sitting in the lab waiting to be IVed. The medic, a little feminine by expressions, was humming away some oldies. My friend, another sicken soldier, was there lying bside me as another medic prepares him for some kinda of electrical treatment. He smiled at me as my medic prepares to insert the needle into my vein. Before i know it, the needle was in and the pain that came along was somewhat within my threshold... i thought, all's gonna be fine soon. How wrong can i get...

Imagine my vison as a tv screen, the edges begun to fade away, slowly but surely, the darkness crept towards the centre of my view. Felt like someone was dimming the lights. My breathing became heavier, the medic stopped his humming, my friend started to shout out my name... before i knew it, i've lost control of my body and slumped onto the table next to me. Yes, I've lost conciousness and fainted.. the first time round... I recovered with about 4 medics around me and they decided to evacuate this weaken mortal to the sickbay. While on my way there.. bearly walking... i begun to slip into unconciousness again and was in a semi-concious state when i finally hit the bed. There i recounted of what went through my mind while i was in that terrible state. Thought of the people i love and felt compelled to live on... then it was there.. during my darkest moment, i cried to God, "Lord, I want to live on" Yup coz i dont know what may follow if i lose conciousness altogether... i've got reasons to live on.. dreams to achieve.. life cannot end just like that....

And so i pulled through...

Weijian

"I wish..."

these words are so easy to say.. yet it's like a cloud that does not hold any form or substance. A fantasy of sort, an illusion that paints a horizon that does not exist.

in my days in ocs, i've learnt that having the desire is but the thought, but what makes the distinction is when a physical action, a forward step is generated out of this mental work. I actually learnt this fact in church before, but what makes it differ from that of ocs is that a cadet's step is one on a steep slope.

hardened in a sense, yet i still have my soft dreams. i yearn for the days of my youth when houses were made of books, when whimpering works wonders and when care bears ferried me in their clouds.

i wished...

Life is a journey, don't travel blindly...

These words been my personal slogan of sort. Basically there's 2 parts to it. Life itself being a process/movement to a destination and the other is employing wisdom while i'm at the journey.

In my current context i got into some kind of a situation, which got me rather frustrated. The main problem was the lack of communication, thus the negative emotions being displayed. It got so bad that i almost wanted to shut myself from the rest of the world. Yupz... But I thank God for the people he placed in my life, people who really showed that they care. People like Calvin n Rouxin... haha.. of course n the one who caused it.. :P See lah.. mis-communication... or rather the lack of comms...

okidoki.. everything's fine now... i'm hoping for the best, Trusting God, n fighting on :)

Coz I'm a soldier :P

and a human too :)

Thanks for joining me in tis mini rollercoaster ride tat lasted more than a dae...
Cheers
Weijian

mORe thaN woRds
nICe soNg~

Saying 'I Love you' is not the words
I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you not to say
But if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do
To make it real then you wouldn't have to say
That you love me 'cuz I'd already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you


More than words
Now that I've tried to talk to you
And make you understand all you have to do
is close your eyes and just reach out your hands

And touch me hold me close
Don't ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn't have to say
That you love me 'cause I already know

Please pardon my thoughts just for this once...

What's wrong..

When things are so superficial...
When thoughts never translate to words..

I don't want to care about what's going on with the rest of the world..
I don't want to know what they say..

Stop trying to hide the truth from me..
Stop being someone you are not...

The tears flows to wash the hurt
The tears dries to harden the heart
I'll keep on walking..
I'll keep pushing on..

Just that i'm not the same anymore...